Okay kids, I know you’re excited.  Don’t worry, it’s okay to feel this way no matter what your parents told you.  In fact, we have free ice cream in our van.  Our van’s just right over here.  Don’t worry, we’ll just give you ice cream, and you can go.  You don’t even have to do anything you don’t want to do.  In fact, we have enough ice cream for your whole family!  Come right.. over here…

The SEC has an incredible history of awesomeness. Some of this awesomeness is passed on from generation to generation through written word and the spoken word often taking the shape of historical accuracies, but we here at Fulmer’s Belly always try to take a good thing and ruin it.

So without further ado in our continuing series of looking through a completely fake spyglass into the SEC’s boldest traditions, we present:

the Arkansas Razorbacks

Mascots

People from the likes of Little Rock and Fayetteville would like you to believe that there is some sort of pig or hog-like animal called the “razorback” but it turns out that the name came from a little-known incident in the 20’s.

The Arkansas football program, becoming tired of losing to high school JV teams, decided to change the fortunes of the football team in one fell swoop. The uniforms were slightly “modified” to include razor blades in the helmets and across the backs of the shoulder pads which suffice it to say, prevented too many people from attempting to tackle the Hogs (as they were known at the time).

Soon after the game however, they were renamed the Razorbacks, because they had hairy backs that needed to be shaved (zing!)
Stadium

One of ‘em, half of the excitement
Arkansas has the distinct, er… distinction of having the pompousness to use two stadiums as their home stadiums. As it turns out, they don’t actually use both stadiums at the same time, but I think it would be an interesting practice. Play the first half in Fayetteville, then during halftime, get on buses and book it over to Little Rock.

Where’s the team? Crap, they’re in Fayetteville again.

I’ve always wondered if this might cause confusion. If a stadia full of fans were to convene upon a venue only to find that there was no team or band. Or even better would be if the visiting team were to show up at one stadium, and the home team were at the other. Ok, so I ran that joke into the ground a little bit, but those are the risks I’m willing to take for you, the dear reader.

Traditions

Arkansas fans have many traditions ranging from… well, I’m sure there’s plenty of things they do.

One of the local customs is to “hog tie” the homecoming queen and parade her through the local town square. This is actually a pretty cool tradition in that no eyes outside the state of Arkansas have ever viewed the sight. Otherwise known as the “Clinton Offering,” this is a coming of age of sorts for coeds at the University.