Week number two for the Tennessee schedule is the 2nd of 4 consecutive home games which pits the Volunteers against the United States Air Force Academy of the Mountain West division. If you’re new to this site, you’re probably expecting some indepth coverage as to what sort of offense Air Force will bring and theories as to what the Vols will do to counter, but that’s not how we roll here. Instead, I’m going to give you some made up facts then go back to searching for internet porn, because that is exactly how we roll here.

While most think that the U.S.A.F. Academy’s mascot is a falcon (which I guess makes sense, seeing as though they are the Air Force, and falcons fly and what not) the actual mascot is Ice Man (you know what? I don’t care that he was in the Navy, it’s the best I could come up with).

You’re unsafe. I don’t like you, because you’re dangerous.

Their main rivalries are Navy, Army, and Colorado State (I missed this question on the SAT – pick the one that doesn’t fit). Uncreatively enough, their fight song is the exact same song as the Air Force’s…um, theme song, or whatever it’s called….you know, like Anchor’s Away and that Marine song about Tripoli…what is that? An anthem? Bah, it’s not important.

Air Force is most famous for utilizing a “wishbone” triple offense. In this particular scheme, the quarterback is snapped the ball and can hand off to his fullback (option one). He then runs parallel to the line with his halfback trailing. He can then either pitch the ball to the halfback (option two) or radio to HQ for strafing runs with F-18s who bomb a path for the quarterback to run into the endzone unhindered. Since this is the government, the third option normally takes many weeks of paperwork and is rarely utilized by the quarterback. It’s called the wishbone because that’s just the gayest name they could come up with.

Air Force has been a competitve club in the past, so don’t be too suprised if they give the Vols some trouble. Actually, do you know how embarassing it would be to beat Cal one week then lose to Air Force the next? Ah well, I don’t really want to think about it. Now about that porn….