This week’s classic post comes to us from Don, written way the hell back in 2006. It was the first part of a gripping three part series that spanned about a month (which is how long it took for the entire three part series to be written). It was all the rage in what was back then known as the “blog-o-sphere” where we would “blog” on “computers” connected to the “internet.” Luckily, now we can look back and laugh at the foolishness of our ways what with our flying cars and holodecks.
Please enjoy: Coaching Futures Part 1 from September 19, 2006
The loss last Saturday to Florida has predictably brought out the ‘Fire Fulmer’ advocates and are not likely to go away for the remainder of the season, so that brings us to this three part series about the subject and possible scenarios. This first part addresses the possibility that AD Mike Hamilton may start to shop around for other coaches, so we here at Fulmer’s Belly have already done the scout work necessary and present here the new UT Coach Short List. Listed below are the top 5 contenders for the job in no particular order.
- Jesus – Jesus is quite the strong candidate for recruiting as a coach. He would be an almost unstoppable recruiter and team motivator. There may be some problems with UT being a public school and the whole separation of church and state thing, but I’m sure we could find some exception.
Cuz this wasn’t an obvious picture to put here
The administration would stay happy as he would undoubtedly fill Neyland each week (I mean come on…who wouldn’t want to see Jesus on the sideline wearing those headphones? You might even see him get pissed and throw them on the ground when a call doesn’t go his way). And think of all the potential for Hail Mary jokes! Tennessee, however, would be at a decided inadvantage when trying to recruit many of the thugs they have been known to get.
- Bear Bryant – Let’s bring the old Bear out from retirement. It’s been a while since he’s been on the gridiron, but I’m sure he hasn’t lost any of that charisma and recruiting for which he was so famous. Wait, he’s what? Dead? Crap…
- Pat Summitt – I only wrote that because she threatened to kick my ass if I didn’t include her on this list, and dammit, I believed her.
- Ben Kenobi – This guy turned Mark Hamill into a Jedi when all he was was an annoying, stupid kid. The team would be unstoppable they could just learn to use the force.
These are not the NCAA violations you are looking for
Ok, fine, it’s dorky, but I don’t care. I think it’d be cool, and so did all the other guys waiting in line with me last year for Star Wars III. Actually…I don’t think any of those guys watched football, and I was beating them with a bat at the time. Cuz that’s how I roll.
- Don and Jon from Fulmer’s Belly – I’m just going to go ahead and throw our names out there. I’m sure the athletic director wanted to ask us, but figured we were too important to run the Tennessee football team. In fact, we’d do co-coach the team for a salary of just $30,000/year each. It’s a steal! Act now!
Next part – Prospects for Fulmer
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