Lots of blogs are putting together blogpolls and blogballots and blogwaffles (goes great with fried chicken). That being said, we here at Fulmer’s Belly wanted to do something similar, but since we’re too lazy to actually run down something as complicated as a list that well, lists a team by team account, we’ve decided to go with a much easier conference by conference ranking system.

As usual, our opinions will be backed up by concrete empirical data the voices in my head. Just as a side note, it’ll take something pretty impressive to kill the homer in me where we won’t list the SEC as the number 1 conference, so without further ado, here’s the completely objective subjective somewhat objective view of the best conferences.

Week 1

1. SEC – The Southeastern Conference had a pretty good weekend. Overall, they went 13-4 (I realize that there are only 12 teams in the entire league, that’s just how good they are, not to mention that Tennessee’s win over Cal was worth about 3-4 wins). The only losses out of conference were by Vandy to Michigan (who actually looked worse winning the game than Vandy did losing it), Arkansas to USoCal (to Arkansas’ credit, the defense was too busy laughing at the name John David Booty causing a bit of a lapse in defense).

2. Big Eleven Ten – FOrgetting the fact that they can’t even count the number of teams in their own conference, the Big Ten was able to post an 11-0 record in the first week (this one I actually did look up and the stat is true). Wow, not even one loss. I suppose the Big Ten should be number one in week 1 but until they can finally break the chastity belt of Notre Dame and get them to get in bed with teh Big Ten (which would then be known as the “other Big 12″), they get points taken off.

3. Big Twelve XXIIXKLMMQV XII – The Big 12 basically gets the ranking based solely on Texas’ performance, and the fact that they have a quarterback named after a gun company. The conference actually did amass a 10-2 record over the weekend, but it took Iowa State 3 overtimes to beat Toledo, and Colorado lost to (muffled laugh, little spittle coming out of the side of the mouth), Montana… State. I have a rule that any team that calls themselves “Whatever State” needs to actually be a state. Montana is a state? Well, paint me purple and call me Barney.

4. ACC – The ACC seems to be doing pretty well as a football conference after the additions of BC, Miami and Virginia Tech, but the divisions were done with the logic of a gay Vulcan. I mean, there’s no geographical alignment, there’s no alignment with regards to hotness of their cheerleaders, it’s madness i tell you. Madness. The Avalanche Atlantic division posted a 5-1 record while the Craptacular Costal yeah, Craptacular division posted a thoroughly unimpressive 1-5 record with the only winner being Virginia Tech. Man, they really pulled the long straw on that conference reafilliation.

5. Big East – Contrary to popular belief, the Big East still in fact does play football. Notwithstanding that the Big East is basically the “West Virginia free ticket to a BCS Bowl” conference, they were actually able to post a couple big wins even without anything even resembling a defense with Louisville scoring 128 points against Kentucky (even though Don and I could do the same thing), and Pitt “don’t call me burgh” was able to finally win a game with Dave Wannstedt at the healm.
6. Pac 10 – Honestly, I wanted to rank the Pac lower than 6th, but in the interest of keeping the list limited to BCS conferences me being lazy, 6th is the worst you can get. Why? Well, because well, I’m a homer that’s why. Tennessee made Cal look like well, Tennessee of last year. In fact, that’s almost exactly what it looked like, a team that was ranked very high, losing a game in such a fashion where it makes the coach cry. USC actually put a pretty good hurt on Arkansas even with a quarterback named John David Booty, and Arizona actually won a game against BYU. Those two things probably would have put the Pac higher on the list but my bologna has a first name and it’s H-O-M-E-R.
Are there other conferences? Yes. Do I give a crap? No. All the other conferences have stupid names like the Mid American Conference, the WAC (a fitting name indeed), Conference USA (c’mon, really?), the Sun Belt Conference, the Bible Belt Conference, and the now defunct Braided Belt Conference. With names like that, they have to be bad. I guess we’ll see come the end of the season, but as of now, that’s my story.