The critically acclaimed oft talked about seldom read series “The Road Ahead” continues with the next installment in the series. The Sweet 16 Edition. You may remember from the previous edition, this is where we take a totally serious look at our upcoming opponents. And of course, by “totally serious” I mean “completely fabricated.” So without further ado, allow myself to introduce myself our next opponent:

Louisville Cardinals

The University of Louisville is located in Louisville, Kentucky, which cleared up much confusion from their previous location in Bangor, Maine, as students had a rough time finding their orientation rooms. As it turns out, Louisville was a good fit for a school already named “the University of Louisville.” Funny how things work out, no?

The mascot of the University is the “super-fierce-as-can-be-seen-by-the-frowning” Cardinal, although the first bit is usually dropped in favor of brevity. However, next time you see a Louisville fan, you can ask him about the full name, and they’ll be sure to know exactly what I’m talking about. Either that, or walk away. That’s the Louisville way of acknowledging a fact.

Hit the jump for the rest.

If this were a football game, I’d at some point talk about their stadium (which was a big hit in the SEC series btw), but I wouldn’t be able to make up a fake story or name as hilarious as the real name: Papa John’s Stadium. As college football stadiums go, there aren’t that many that are corporately sponsored, and of those, very few are sponsored by the likes of delivery food chains.

Their basketball arena (also irrelevant since the game is being played somewhere in East Carolina (it’s North Carolina? you mean, East Carolina isn’t a real place? what about the Pirates? aw well) is “Freedom Hall” named after Freedom Housewares, an Australian furniture company. They even have a website. That’s just the level of awesome research we do for you here at Fulmer’s Belly.

The team is coached by Rick Pitino, the most pimply-dressed coach in all of college basketball (aside from a particularly sweaty orange sportcoat of course). The former Kentucky Coach and Pat Riley’s idol, Rick Pitino was perhaps most famously followed this season when he donned his white suit for the “white out” game, only to promptly change back into a regular suit when his team didn’t really play up to par. And who could with a certified gangsta on the sidelines?

What? Ain’t nobody dope as me, I’m dressed so fresh, so clean, that’s what!

Of course, the super original name of the Cardinals should not be confused with the Arizona Cardinals – a football team, the St. Louis Cardinals – a Baseball Team, the Mapua Cardinals – the varsity teams of the Mapua Institute of Technology, the Stanford Cardinal – a different school with only one player on every team, or the Catholic Church Cardinals – officials of the Catholic Church who [[offcolor joke about alter boys removed]].

Tennessee will have their work cut out for them if they have to play against all the different types of cardinals, but even if they only have to play the Louisville Cardinals, the game should be pretty spectacular. Tennessee will try their best to make history once again by defeating said Cardinals to advance to the Elite 8 for the first time in school history.

Go Orange.