It has recently come to our attention (thanks Alex) that Knoxville News Sentinel’s part time sportswriter, and full time hater, decided to write the annual “Fire Fulmer” article. Of course, John Adams hates Fulmer, puppies, kittens and babies. But he loves their poo. Is that weird?

So, we decided to investigate further, what would make someone hate so much, and well, the only place that had a bio at all (GVX and the News Sentinel apparently don’t want you to know anything about their writers) were the guys over at Loser with socks:

John Adams has been sports editor/columnist for the Knoxville News-Sentinel since 1987. Adams, a sports journalist for 30 years, is a graduate of Louisiana State University. He has been honored 11 times as Tennessee’s best sports columnist and six times as the Tennessee Sportswriter of the Year by the Tennessee Sportswriters Association. He also was honored in 2001 as the best sports columnist in the Football Writers Association of America annual writing contest. He has worked as a sports columnist in Jackson, Miss.; Baton Rouge, La.; and Jacksonville, Fla. Email him at Adamsj@knews.com.

Allow me to add a little bit at the end here. His office phone number is: 865-342-6284 ya know… if you just wanted to call, to say, you love him.

Of course, I realize as much as anyone how hard it is to put out material day in and day out (that’s precisely why I usually don’t do that), but if it is writing an article just for the sake of filling a quota of words to appease an editor whilst simultaneously getting a kick out of annoying people that used to give you wedgies in the hallways, all I can say is: hand over your lunch money foo!

Anyway, we decided to unveil our new fangled gadget: the John Adams Hate-O-Meter. This isn’t a measure of how much John Adams hates on Fulmer, the Vols, or puppies, but rather, the amount of disdain I am feeling for him at that particular moment.

One might notice that the “love” portion seems disproportionately small with the “Hate” portion is unfairly huge. Well, just like the intuits Inuits (thanks hooper!) have 20 words for snow, Tennessee fans generally have at least 20 words to describe the disdain they feel for John Adams. As you can see, we’re at about 88% hate here. What that means is, that we’ve passed the love and indifference portions of the scale and vaulted into the coveted “hate” portion of the scale, up to 88%. Monay!

So, here’s to you, Mr. John “I’m named after a president because my parents were really creative and I’ve inherited the creative gene from them” Adams, keep up the… um, work? Also, to the editors of the Knox News Sentinel… I can write crappy articles that bash people too, but I can do it with… classy graphics!