I’m not quite sure why it took me so long to think of this, but it hit me yesterday. I used to not think there was anything funny about the Giants winning the Superbowl until I realized that Jared Lorenzen is going to get a Superbowl ring.
A face not even a mother could love
For those of you unfamiliar with him, Lorenzen was the starting quarterback for the Kentucky Wildcats from 2000-2004 where he broke passing records which were probably then obliterated by Andre Woodson, weighing in at one time at 322lbs but currently on the Giants roster at 285lbs. This is the type of guy that sends fear into the defender he’s running toward.
To put it in perspective, Jared Lorenzen got his Superbowl ring faster than such notables as Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, and Troy Aikman.
I also love that Jared has (well, will have) a ring, but Jabar Gafney and Kelley “the Future” Washington (who some of you may recall once proclaimed himself one of the 5 greatest athletes in the world) do not have one. Although it can only be a matter of time, right?
And do the Giants have enough money to buy this man a big enough ring? He might need to settle for a Superbowl locket, or maybe a Superbowl friendship bracelet.
Whatever piece of jewelry he gets, I’m sure he’ll treasure it always. Until of course he eats it, realizing much too late that it’s not a foil wrapped piece of Superbowl chocolate.
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