We’ve been taking a look at the
completely true totally made up traditions of all the SEC schools. Although it’s gotten to the point where it’s actually getting hard to make crap up, where we might have to start sprinkling in some truths, we trudge on. All the way to the land of… um… lots of letters.
the Ole Miss Rebels
Ole Miss is where you go when you’re too stupid to go to school abroad but still want to say you went to school abroad. The reason behind this is that it is located in Oxford… Mississippi. But generally, people who are from the area, or have gone to the school conveniently leave out the second part of the locale.
I am NOT Colonel Sanders damnit…
The Ole Miss mascot, “Mr. Rebel” was not Colonel Sanders, the famous Louisville Mascot. He was the Colonel’s lesser-known cousin, Corporal Sanders. He tried to follow in the footsteps of his wildly successful cousin by selling fried frogs legs. While the taste was roughly the same, there just “wasn’t enough dag gone meat on ‘em bones.” Having failed in his attempts to become rich in the restaurant business, he decided to instead, go into business as a consonant salesman, where he tricked the state of Miiii, into buying several unnecessary letters causing
Ole Miss Freshmen elementary school students frustration for years to come.
Vaught-Hemingway Stadium, on the campus of the University of Mississippi or was it Mississippi University, is a quaint stadium made even more quaint by the fact that the stadium itself is in fact, blurry. The picture I found online isn’t crappy, the stadium is actually blurry! This causes problems for opposing teams that find their way into the unknown territory of bad resolution reality, giving the Rebels a decided advantage over those who see clearly.
The Rebels have a great tradition of being rebellious. As of late, they have been rebelling against winning football games or keeping good coaches instead opting to bring in coaches in danger of having their heads explode from anger.
Another well-known tradition involves the uber-preppy attire for the student section. This not only serves to completely eliminate home field advantage, but also gives way to many wedgies being given by the visiting fans to said students.
So before you decide to go to a game at Ole Miss, make sure you bring your “wedgie pullin’ gloves.”
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