There are 12 days left until the start of the SEC football season on Saturday, September 2, so, everyday, Fulmer’s Belly will being you a completely true accurate contrived view at the history and traditions of all 10 SEC schools. Wait, there’s 12 schools? Vander-who? There’s a Mississippi State?

Oh, well, I guess that works out pretty well then, 12 days, 12 teams. Well, onward then. We present the first team:

the Alabama Crimson Tide

Mascots:

The Alabama Crimson Tide have a figurative mascot and a literal mascot. The literal mascot is in the form of an elephant, which stems from the elephant boneyard that the stadium waqs built on top of.

The actual “Crimson Tide” was used as a mascot during a single game in 1902 when engineers figured out a way to have a small tidal wave roll through the enzones when the flow regulators got stuck, drowning the entire visiting section. Those in Alabama actually don’t view this as a tragedy since none of the home fans were injured, hence the lack of mention in any published visitors guide.

The Stadium:

Bryant Denny Stadium was built sometime in the past, most likely by workers. This does not qualify as an “alien-constructed” stadium like South Carolina’s Williams-Brice Stadium.

Most people think that Bryant Denny Stadium was named after former coach “Bear” Bryant (well, the Bryant part anyway), but interestingly enough, Bryant Denny Stadium was named after actor Brian Dennehy. Didn’t know that now did ya?

Bear Bryant ain’t got NOTHIN’ on me!

Traditions:

Alabama has lots of unique traditions. I can’t really think of any at the moment, but I’m sure they exist. There is a tradition of going after the elephant mascot not to hurt it, but just to knock loose the ivories of the elephant. I believe this tradition is called, Tuscaloosa. (buh dum CHEEE)

Another tradition is the Rammer Jammer something Hammer. This is where they grab hammers and throw them at the opposing team while they make their way out of the tunnel. It’s a little known fact that the helmets and pads that football players wear are to protect themselves from the yellow hammers thrown by the Alabama crowd, and not for any other reason. But by that time, they’ve taken so long putting the pads and helmets on, they just leave em on.

So in conclusion (take that AP English teacher!), Alabama = Surfing Elephants.