Bert Bertelkamp, the color analyst for VolNetwork is quite possibly the single worst commentator since the “Austin Incident” where Brent Musburger, in a drunken haze, still reeling from the roofies put in his pre-game cocktail by Bob Davie in an attempt to “seize the power of the footbaw mic.”
Seriously though, Mr. Bertelkamp, please retire. You suck. I could do a better job at commentating than you, simply based on the fact that I have a vocabulary larger than my dog’s. In fact, my dog has a larger vocabulary than Bert Bertelkamp. Nevermind that I don’t have a dog, but if I did, I’d train him to know at least 2 words (see what I did there?).
As it turns out, Bert, wanting to get in on any audio clip possible, decides with stunning voracity and frequency, that it would be a good idea to yell random things after Bob Kesling announces that a Tennessee player has made a basket. Apparently, at some point, a determination was made that thinking up new and interesting things to say after made baskets was becoming tiresome, instead, replacing it with an easy to remember, two syllable word: MONEY!
Bertelkamp: “This Picture is MONEY!”
Perhaps I’m being a bit harsh here, but seriously, you suck worse than my ex-wife. Nevermind that I don’t have an ex-wife either, but I would imagine that if she was indeed my ex, it would be because she sucked… or maybe didn’t. Hmm, I kinda rode the train right off the rails on that one.
Anyway, next time you’re so inclined, tune in to the VolNetwork, but stay away from pointy objects lest you might want to pierce your eardrums. Thanks Bert. Thanks.
Click on the “Game Highlights” on this page and have a listen for yourself.
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