So, the coaching carousel has begun. This season has already seen it’s fair share of casualties. Among them, Jon Bunting, at UNC (I’d add links to the respective coaches being fired, but no one actually clicks on those, do they?), John L. Smith at Michigan State and more recently Larry Coker at Miami, and Mike Shula of Alabama (1 year removed from a 10-2 season btw), and very recently Coach Scelfo has been dismissed from the Tulane football team.
Of course, this starts the inevitable process of coaches shifting places, and undoubtedly, one of the coaches will get left out, and go work for espn. Butch Davis has already accepted the job at UNC (because even HE couldn’t live up to the expectations he himself built up at the U), and speculation is that perhaps Steve Mariucci will be next in like for the Michigan State or Miami jobs. There has been talk of Miami trying to woo Greg Shiano from Rutgers, but that seems less and less likely.
After the jump, we’ll take a look at some of the vacancies, and some of the people that could possibly fill them:
1. Miami – This is going to be a tough one. I mean, when you fire a coach 3 years or so after he won a National Championship (where the subsequent year, he took the team back to the title game), it’s going to be hard to find someone to actually take the job.
2. Michigan State – Michigan State’s job should be an easy sell to most prospective coaches out there. I mean, they expect to choke in big games. So, if a new coach comes in, and is able to actually eek out even one win that they’re not supposed to, they’ll be pretty happy. That was part of the reasoning behind why Steve Spurrier took the South Carolina job, because when you’re used to eating soup kitchen soup your entire life, the occasional spamwich (SPAM, the greatest product ever invented by the way (I expect some free spam Hormel!)) is like prime roast, well, something good.
3. Alabama – Seriously, I don’t know what the Bama faithful are going to be able to do if they can’t quickly find a way to resurrect Bear Bryant. I mean, every single coach is compared to the guy, but to be honest, if he had to do it now, he probably couldn’t live up to his own legend. Before you get up in arms about that, I feel the same way about Vince Lombardi, or any of the previous generation’s “genius” coaches. The game’s just too different now, and losing is part of it. Back when the season was 8 games long, it was easy to go 8-0 and have someone somewhere declare you national champions.
4. Tulane – Tulane to Coach Scelfo: “uh, thanks for the helping of our kids through one of the worst natural disasters in history… now get the fuck out.” Wow, I mean, who’d want this job? I personally, would not take it, even though I have credentials up the butthole (read: they stink, get it?), because if being a father figure and a mentor to young men through perhaps what could amount to the worst tragedy in their lives isn’t enough to keep a coach around, then I don’t know what is.
- Steve Spurrier - SOS has already indicated that he’d like to stay at South Carolina because he loves the SEC just that much. Although it seems like he doesn’t get along with alot of the coaches around the league, I’m sure he respects them, and the feeling is mutual. Although the draw of a big time program like Miami might be to his liking, the feeling is probably tempered a bit due to the conference having two Bowdens leading teams.
I <3 the SEC
- Steve Mariucci - Mariucci’s tenure at Detroit was marred by the fact that well, he was in Detroit. The Lions have been chronic underachievers as evidenced by the fact that they at one time had Barry Sanders, arguably the best running back of all time, and still couldn’t win. The Mooch was good over at San Fran, and has the pretty-boy look that I think people are looking for in a coach these days. I don’t think he particularly enjoyed being cold, and coaching in Michigan, so the State job might be a hard sell. If I were Mariucci, I’d go for the Miami or Tulane jobs for a year or two to work back the tan, and make a run for the NFL again.
- Mike Shula - I think Mike will probably end up say at Tulane or another “mid-major” type program. He’s a good enough coach that he was able to take an Alabama team with roughly 3 players on scholarship to a 10-2 season. Sure, he was a Crimson Tide quarterback, but in Alabama, you can’t spell “Loyalty” without the letters “B-E-A-R.”
- John L. Smith - Let’s not kid ourselves. He’s got ESPN written all over him. In fact, I’d like to see John L. take over for the MNF preoccupied Tony Cornheiser on Pardon the Interruption. If John L. were to lose an argument, he’d just slap himself in the face. It would be ratings GOLD.
- Larry Coker - We have inside information that Larry Coker will return to his spot in the crypt that has been left baron the last few years due to his absence. The other zombies will be happy to have the ol’ bugger back.
- Jon and Don - We would like to once again throw our hats in as co-coaches for the University of Tennessee. We realize that the UT job isn’t exactly open at the moment, but we’d rather not take a sucky job in order to “learn” or “prove ourselves” before taking on a program that holds with it expectations that are probably impossible to achieve. That being said, we could free up a lot of room to
pay our players um, give scholarships to players due to the fact that we’d be willing to coach for $40G each per season. It’s a steal at twice the price. Think about it Mike, think about it.
Email this Post