Well well well, this Saturday turned out to be not that crappy after all. There was an upset (USC vs. OSU), followed by a rally that could have been an upset (UF vs. UGA), followed by an almost upset (Tex vs. TTech), and then another almost upset (S.Car vs. Tenn). Here’s a little weekend analysis of those games:

Southern California vs. Oregon State

First off, if you’re going to get beaten, it’s probably best if when someone asks you who you lost to, you can avoid saying “we got beat by those Beavers.” I don’t know what it is, but for me, that would seem a bit… well, emasculating. Especially when you’re team is known as the “Trojans.” Perhaps the headline should read:

Trojans Break, Beavers get Their Way. Paternity Test on Maury Pending.

Everyone’s already said it so many times that I don’t want to say that SC was just asking for a game like this sooner or later. One thing I noticed about SC, maybe it’s because I’m not that observant, but it seemed like they’ve been off for 5 or 6 weeks this season. How many bye weeks are you supposed to get? Good game to the Beavs who almost let the game slip away, but found a way to win, and to quote the oscar winning scratchiest-voice in the world actor Vin Diesel: It doesn’t matter if you win by an inch or a mile, winning’s winning.

Florida vs. Georgia

Man, after the opening drive of the second quarter, I was ready to write off the game completely. UGA showed some balls staying with it until the end. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I get the distinct feeling that after just about every win, Urban Meyer kinda lets out a big “whew,” considering they generally have to overcome 3,000 yards in penalties. Sure they might be winning games, but I think its only a matter of time before teams figure out the system (which leads into my theory about why Urban Meyer has to bolt a school after 2 years) and a way to defeat it.

There was a pretty big hit on Tebow that caused a fumble, and it’s not like that’s uncommon in the SEC. At least when Spurrier was at Florida and they were kicking everyone’s asses, you felt the shame and sting in the buttockal region the next morning knowing that it was a solid pounding, but perhaps it’s just the way they get it done, but Florida’s offense always just looks kinda ugly to me. Nonetheless, they pulled it out, and are the proud champions of the World’s Largest Outdoor… um, Football Game? Wait, no. World’s Largest Outdoor Gathering of Jorts. Yeah, that’s gotta be it.

Texas vs. Texas Tech

First of all, does anyone else think it’s weird that a dude named “Colt” doesn’t play for a team called the “Red Radiers?” Ok, that was a bit of a stretch, but I had already typed out the “first of all” part, and didn’t have the cojones to delete it.

Tech was up 21-0 in the first quarter, but after Texas scored their first touchdown, I could feel the game slipping away, and somehow knew that Tech was going to lose the game. It’s weird, but that’s what I felt, and of course, I’m always right. Did anyone else notice the Tech quarterback (Harrell I believe his name is) doing the John Cena “You Can’t See Me” after the second touchdown?

You CAN see me? Well crap.

Texas really pulled this one out. I mean, I thought they’d fold like some other teams might after getting down so far so fast (cough, Cal, cough), but McCoy really showed some poise, not to mention the Red Raider defense showed some ineptitude at stopping what seemed to be wide open receivers throughout the second half.

I wasn’t really sure about Texas before, with their schedule consisting of the likes of Sam Houston State (that can’t really be a school, can it?), but the gutsy performance here showed that they at least deserve to be in the mention of being one of the best one loss teams (even though the Big XII is kind of not that bad of a conference to have to go through this year). Nice game Tex.

Tennessee vs. South Carolina

Well, this game turned out to be a bit more exciting than a Tennessee fan might have hoped. If it weren’t for South Carolina’s inability to know what “personnel packages” and “time management” were, Tennessee might have been looking a loss square in the face.

Why are there only five players on the field? That’s my hand? Oh.
The end of the game reminded me a bit of the Washington Southern Cal game from a few weeks ago, where the clock management (actually it was more due to the ref’s inability to manage) stuffed any chances of a last-second comeback. But after the third quarter, all those fans who left early probably feel kinda stupid that they almost witnessed a great comeback.

What was up with the “Hey Smokey, Bite Me!” sign under the chicken penis cock? I’ll bet if the Cock could read, he wouldn’t have been very happy at the prospect of facing down a bluetick coonhound. From the wiki:

Characteristics: The Bluetick Coonhound is known for its distinctive sound. It should have a free tongue on trail, with a bugle or bawl on track, changing over to a chop when treed.

Um, wtf does that mean? I don’t know, but it sounds ferocious. Also from the wiki:

Temperament – Any dog or human aggression is strongly discouraged in both environment and responsible breeding programs. This breed does have a very high prey drive, and will hunt at every opportunity. This can lead to issues with cats and small animals in the home and surrounding areas.

I guess it would be best if Alabama players learned to read had read the wiki article before trying to dive on Smokey, resulting in a bit ass. And back to the point, it doesn’t seem like Smokey would have too many qualms about eating a chicken.

So, overall, a pretty entertaining Saturday, with some um, excitement. Now, all the focus turns to Thursday night for the overrated team bowl Big East matchup of the decade, West Virginia vs. Pizza Papa John Louisville at Papa Johns Stadium. How am I supposed to take a team seriously if their venue is called “Papa Johns Stadium?” I’m not. And I don’t. But for the sake of the BCS, I’ll be a Cardinals supporter at least once. Or maybe like my failed bet in the World Series, I should root for the Tigers again, because the Cardinals always win then.