I understand that people have jobs to do, but that doesn’t always make a job a good one. It is all too often where one hears a phrase such as “I was just doing my job” in order to justify some sort of egregious act that has no place in our society. I would like to take this opportunity to point out one of the worst offenses in this category: the naming of every damn weekend by ESPN.

Ok, now, I’m no expert, but I know that not every Saturday is going to be a classic-game filled weekend. This being said, there are usually always games that go above and beyond expectations and are better than some of the hyped up weekends that fail to impress. This being said, there is a time and a place for hype, both before and after the fact.

ESPN, everyone’s only favorite sports recap network, tries a little too damn hard to please. I mean, I have no problem with calling a weekend with 3-4 national championship level games “Separation Saturday” or “Showdown Saturday” or something like that, but that is one of the few cases where this behavior is acceptable. Calling a weekend where there were a few close games but no upsets “Survival Saturday” is to me, analogous to calling the week before bowl games “Soon-to-be-bowl-season Saturday.”

How many names can you give weekends before it becomes ridiculous? One.

Fowler: Stupid-Mascot-Head on Corso Saturday? Yeah, That’s what I’ll Call It.

More after the jump.

Perhaps I’m way off base here, and there was some sort of company directive that uh, directed the Gameday crew to call every weekend something “catchy.” Perhaps there is one dude whose job it is to come up with these poop nuggets of wisdom. If that is the case, I have a few suggestions for what this weekend should have been called. Of course, I will respect the formula set up which is as follows:

(Adjective starting with “S”) (Day of the Week)

“Sucky Saturday” – I believe this would have been a more appropriate name not because the day itself or the games played were sucky, but because a lot of the teams that were supposed to win convincingly sucked pretty hard.

“Saccharin Saturday” – This one takes a little bit of explaining, but there is nothing that Chris Fowler does than point out obscure facts mixed with stupid observations. This one would be described as a Saturday which required artificial sweeteners in order to make it more palatable that there was nothing really interesting to talk about.

“Salty Saturday” – This is where teams come in, get played close in their games, and then are able to win, albeit uglily (damn straight I just made up an adverb), and then go about their business of banging coeds preparing for next week’s “world beater” team.

I could go on and on, but I don’t feel like looking in the dictionary anymore to augment my terrible vocabulary. I’m sure there are way more adjectives that start with “S” out there, but who can be bothered to do such a mundane, gaytarded job? Oh yeah, ESPN.