Every week this season, we’ll attempt to bring you a totally biased, pessimistic look at the SEC and how they’ll fare in the coming week of games. It’ll be totally informative not informative at all, and will show off our awesome skills of pessimism.  You might even find that we pick some SEC schools to win their games, but even then, there will be things that will curtail the enthusiasm for any such win.  And off we go.

• UAB vs. Tennessee (12:30pm ET – Raycom)

Tennessee, coming off a loss to undermatched, undertalented, but overcoached UCLA, will attempt to make amends against the Blazers of the University of Alabama at Birmingham  If the last game was any indication however, they’ll probably play down to the Blazers too needing late game heroics to pull out another fan-grumbler.

• Georgia vs. South Carolina (3:30pm ET – CBS)

Georgia has a knack for losing to Steve Spurrier (which is sort of like saying I have a knack for looking at internet porn) meaning, that it never… EVER happens.  Ever.  That said, the Gamecocks also have a penchant for choking in big games.  This one should be horrible.

• Arkansas vs. Texas (Postponed)

I think we all know why this game was postponed.  Arkansas is scared out of their britches.  Because that’s what they have in Arkansas… Britches.  Texas wears completely white britches with very white jerseys and helmets that are white with no stripe and a picture of a uterus on the side of them, but we’re here to talk crap about the SEC, and Arkie is sceered.

• MTSU vs. Kentucky (7:00pm ET – Gameplan)

MTSU beat Maryland last week.  Say what you will, but Kentucky is still and SEC team, and we all know that SEC teams are terrible against teams from the middle of any states.  Especially Tennessee.  I don’t know what that meant either.

• Rice vs. Vanderbilt (7:00pm ET)

This game isn’t even televised.  It’s the nerd bowl.  In fact, I heard that the players will suit up, line up ready for the snap, and then solve algorithms.  That, and it’s going to be so crapily boring that it’s not even televised.

• Samford vs. Mississippi (7:00pm ET)

Whatever I said about the Vandy game, goes double for the Ole Miss game (except the nerd part, because we all know Mississippi folks are dumb).

• Auburn vs. Mississippi State (7:00pm ET – ESPN2)

Hmm, I don’t even have anything to say about this game except that Auburn is going to get Croomed!

• Western Kentucky vs Alabama (7:00pm ET – Gameplan)

The Hilltoppers.  The Crimson Tide.  It’s a damn hill going up against a damn wave.  A red wave.  Of blood.  That makes my girlfriend pissed once a month.  Fine, I don’t know for sure since I don’t actually have a girlfriend, but if I did, she would be pissed, and you’d be scared.

• North Texas vs. LSU (8:00pm ET – Gameplan)

Blah.  North Texas?  That’s crappy.  LSU?  Les Miles?  Am I asking too many questions?  Do I care?  Will this game suck?  Yes.

Enjoy this weekend’s slate of games everyone!