Welp, it’s over.  Recruiting battles with Alabama? Florida? SC? Anyone?  Nope.  Tennessee’s got em.  Why?

Lane Kiffin has made it into a Lil Wayne song.  (Around 1:10-1:13 area)

And with that, I bid the other schools adieu.

I’m not one to oft admit jealousy of anything.  Except say, someone who has a smoking hot girlfriend, someone who has a lot of money, good looks, fame, a smoking hot wife, athletic ability of any kind, intelligence, a smoking hot mistress, employment, musical talent, humor, a nicer computer than me, a nice car, a car, a smoking hot wife AND a smoking hot girlfriend…

But I will admit that I am jealous of one thing in particular.  Other teams who have cool battle cries if you will, whenever they kick off a ball.  You hear it all the time.  Most fans in the SEC, when gearing up for a kickoff, will start with their “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH” chant, but as the time comes to actually kick the ball, other fans have things that they chant in unison.  Like Georgia has their (something incomprehensible) followed by a Woof Woof Woof, Bama has their… something, it’s hard to understand what they’re saying without my English to Alabama dictionary.

I propose here, that Tennessee fans should not be left out of one more instance of fun chanting something in unison together with thousands of other fans like brainwashed sheep cool people.  Ready?

The team lines up.  The shakers circling overhead.  The anticipation grows.  The kicker raises his arm, then starts trotting towards the upright ball.  The crowd gets a little louder “ooooOOOOO” and the ball is KICKED!

V-O-L-S, Go Vols Go!

Let’s make it happen people.  If you go to the game, do it on the first kickoff, and if you do it with gusto, and not like the pansy that you normally are at the office all week when people take a bigger portion of cake so that you’re left with only crumbs, or a shitty middle piece with no side icing, several people are bound to notice, and do it with you the second time.  If more than one person can do it at the same time from different sections, by the time the 3rd home game rolls around, I should be able to audibly hear the chant on TV.

And it’ll all be thanks to me.  The awesomest loneliest blogger in the universe.  Please?

Feel free to repost this on other blogs, take credit yourself (although we all know it’s Fulmer’s Belly that got it started), but let’s see if the world of the internet is really that strong, and can create a real change, and a new tradition for all of us to be proud of when 30 years down the road, everyone is doing it.  You can say you were one of the first to start it!  Sweet!.

Well, that was a closer game than most people expected.  Interestingly, Crompton was basically the one saving grace of the offense today.  He put us in a position to win, and that’s all you can ask from your starting QB.  He played like a champ.

The defense had another awesome outing, and if it weren’t for two nearly 50 yard field goals, Tennessee very possibly could have won the game.  Monte Kiffin’s D did their part in not allowing a single touchdown.

The kick return teams were serviceable against possibly Alabama’s weakest unit, and the Kickoff teams seemed adequate for the most part.

Am I missing anything?

I don’t think I am.  If you can think of any unit I might have missed… let me know.

I mean, perhaps it was fate.  Some dude named Lincoln, is bound to have bad luck in the South (too soon?).  OK, that was a cheap joke, but it was too good to not share.

Seriously though, I’m getting more and more excited about the team.  Even after a close loss that stings a lot, consider that Tennessee has played two teams ranked #1 this year, lost one by 10, then the next one by 2.  It feels like this could very well be the last of the close losses.  Let’s hope that’s the case.

Alabama played a good, tough game, and they should be commended for doing what they needed to to grind out a win in a rivalry game.  Now, allow me to go wash myself.

It is nearly here.  The Third Saturday Fourth Saturday in October.  As an aside, am I the only one who finds it odd that October has FIVE Saturdays?  I mean, give me a break overachiever.  October 2009 is like my friend who complains that there’s not enough hours in the day to do all the work he needs to do.  Work?  Work sucks.  Sleep, now there’s a worthwhile endeavor.

Anyway, it’s Bama week, and well, they’re ranked #1.  Sort of.  The Coaches think they’re the best, whilst the AP thinks they’re the second best.  Either that or it’s the other way around.  I didn’t really look into it that hard.  Interestingly, Lane Kiffin isn’t really taking these opportunities to poke the bear as it were, possibly because he knows that Nick Saban is actually the human name for one Mr. Satan.  Not the dragonball character (if you know what I’m talking about, you’re partially cool, but all geek).  And he doesn’t want to lose his eternal soul for making fun of the dark prince.

Alabama to this point, hasn’t really faced too much tough competition (unless you consider a first weekend beating of Virginia Tech… of the A.C.C.!!!! to be a credible win) to this point.  This, interestingly, could be the Crimson Tide’s first real test.  As another aside, wtf kind of name is crimson tide?  I mean, is it sort of like the clothes washing detergent but a different hue?  Or does it refer to when ladies have their “monthly visitor” where they refer to “riding the crimson wave?”  Either way, it kind of creeps me out.  Because on one hand, you’ll end up with red laundry.  And on the other… Actually, both ways you end up with red laundry.

Will Tennessee beat Alabama?  I’ll tell you after Saturday, because I can usually make more informed decisions after I’ve seen the outcomes to games.  Will Tennessee make a game of it?  Well, Alabama denied Tennessee’s request to wear their orange jerseys, and seeing as how the only time Tennessee has won this year has been in the Orange Jersey/White Pant combo, I’ll have to guess…. I don’t know.

Seriously, am I the only one to have noticed that?

Western Kentucky – Orange Jersey, White Pants – WIN
UCLA – Orange Jersey, White Pants – LOSS
Florida – White Jersey, Orange Pants – LOSS
Ohio – Orange Jersey, White Pants – WIN
Auburn – Orange Jersey, Orange Pants – LOSS
Georgia – Orange Jersey, White Pants – WIN

So as you can see, the Orange Jersey/White Pants combo doesn’t always equate to a win, but orange pants, loss every time.  That’s kind of sad though, because personally, I love the orange pants, but even going back to the Fulmer days, the orange pants (UCLA, SECCG vs. LSU) were losers.

Maybe we could get some Orange Jerseys, Orange Helmets, Orange Pants, Orange Shoes, Orange Socks, Orange Gloves, Orange Chinstraps, Orange Mouthguards, Orange Jock Straps, Orange Pads, Orange Pubes kind of thing going, and see if that helps.

I am Jon, and I approve this message.

Apparently Coach Calipari, the new head coach of the Kentucky Wildcats (for how long? probably a couple years until the dark cloud catches up to him now, where he’ll promptly uproot, and move on, leaving his former employer to bear the brunt of his misgivings), hates the color orange.

What is the root of all this hatred?  Is it because he genuinely dislikes Tennessee and Bruce Pearl?  Or is it something deeper? Did he lose his dad to a carrot truck overturning on the freeway?  Was he was molested by an orange?  Or a man waring an Orange suit?  Is it because he used to be an aspiring songwriter, but realized that nothing rhymes with orange?  Is it because he loved the entertaining and fun for the entire family board game Trivial Pursuit, but was always stymied by the Sports and Leisure pie piece?

We may never know.

What we do know however, is that Cal was kind of a douche at Memphis, and it seems his new position at Kentucky has only helped nurture that douchbaggery into a new level of douchy douchness.  Either that, or Bruce Pearl is under his skin.  Whatever the reason, he hates orange.

What are some other reasons he might hate it?  Give us your best.

A big part of football is game planning.  Defensive coaches game plan against upcoming offenses to see what their strengths and weaknesses are, and conversely, offensive coaches game plan against defenses to see what the best course of action might be against based on personnel.

Lane Kiffin, and the entire country knew full well what the Tennessee personnel consisted of: Montario Hardesty.  And, um.  Yeah, that’s it, Montario Hardesty.  So that being common knowledge, Lane Kiffin decided to do what any no other coach would do, start, and consequently pass with Jonathan Crompton.  Wait, what?

Crompton has been all over the place.  Against Western Kentucky, he looked like he should have been the Heisman candidate, then quickly, that feeling gave way to a feeling of “wtf? zomg, why are they starting Jonathan Crompton?”  Obviously the answer lies in that Kiffin has been setting up the pass for the past 5 weeks or so.

No one.  NO ONE saw it coming.  Myself, as a fan, Georgia as a defense, the fans in the stands, the people watching at home, the commentators at the game, the grandmas and grandpas in the expensive seats, the janitors cleaning up bulldog vomit on the sidelines, the cheerleaders (the hot ones and the tubby ones), the dance team (who are all consistently hot), the pirates in Somalia, the beret-wearers in France, the scientists in the Antarctic, the dental hygienist who was a little too rough with my sensitive gums even though I told her that I had fucking sensitive gums, saw this coming.

On my expert count, I counted that we ran about 4 plays.  One was a play-action roll out left pass, one was a play-action roll out right pass, one was a play-action drop back pass, and the last one was a hand off to Monterio.  It was roughly the same number of plays that Randy Sanders used to call except that “incomplete pass” and “no-blocker screen pass” weren’t taking up 50% of the playbook.

For the Tennessee fans, other than the special teams lapses, probably the worst part of the game was that the Eric Berry return was considered a fumble recovery and not an interception return.  It seemed like someone told Berry about what happened and he played a little more angry the rest of the game.  Which made the Georgia offense immediately soil themselves.  I may have pooed a little too.

Georgia is a bit of a conundrum this year.  On one hand, they did lose 3 star offensive players, but at the same time, they played a Tennessee team that starts Jonathan Crompton.  Georgia did come off a heartbreaking loss last week to LSU, but Tennessee started Jonathan Crompton.  I’d say it’s a push.

Many on the Georgia message boards are screaming that the sky is falling, and perhaps it is.  But others were quick to point out that Mike Bobo v. Monte Kiffin kind of isn’t fair.  It kind of isn’t.  But Tennessee started Jonathan Crompton.  Willie Martinez (which sounds like a dirty sexual position btw), wasn’t able to adjust to the offensive juggernaut of four offensive plays.  It’ll be interesting to see how Georgia responds in the coming weeks.  Will they be able to regroup, and beat Florida like everyone wants them to?  Will they be able to get their offense going?

Conversely, how good will Alabama be by the time the Third Saturday in October rolls around?  Will they be ranked even higher than they are now?  Will they still have a punishing rushing attack and a suffocating defense?  Many might think they’ll be able to name their score against the Vols, and depending on which Tennessee team shows up, that very well may be the case.  But Tennessee will be starting Jonathan Crompton.