So, apparently the Papa was subpoenaed today in Alabama after what Fulmer’s lawyer is calling an “ambush” where the papers were essentially thrown at the head coach.

What’s the deal?  I understand that the lawsuit is about slander and defamation of character, but the University of Alabama should have tried their best to quell this particular lawsuit seeing as how it doesn’t to much to make them look any better.

“Zomg, we cheated!  But, but… that guy over there, the big one in the orange… he turned us in!  He’s such a bad bad man.”

Honestly, how does this play out?  Best case scenario for Alabama is that Fulmer testifies that he made the whole thing up, and that his hatred of Alabama was what caused him to perpetrate the fraud.  But is that going to happen?  No.  He’s going to talk about how he heard about the payola scandal, and it’ll bring Alabama right back to the forefront of cheating scandals.  Nice.

It’s sort of like this one time, I cheated on my hot model girlfriend (we’ll call her Giselle) with another hot model (we’ll call her Alessandra), and a third hot model (who I totally could have banged, who we’ll call Adriana) told on me.  So, for two years, I decided to try to dig up some dirt on Adriana, while in the meantime trying to still bang Giselle.  It really helped my case out a lot.  But it was worth it to bang Giselle.

The Bammer booster can’t even say that he did that, because hot Brazilian models generally don’t find themselves living in Tuscaloosa.  Plus, it gives me a good excuse to post images of hot Vicky’s Secret models.

I mean, honestly.  This guy isn’t even trying to hide his loathing for all things Tennessee and subsequent hardon for all things you know… not Tennessee.  Is it hypocritical that we essentially hate John Adams for hating Tennessee?  Well, perhaps, but we’ve never pretended to like the douche nozzle in the first place like Adams presumably did in order to get a job writing for the Knoxville News Sentinel for a spinoff site called “Go Vols Xtra.”

Previously, we had Fulmer hashing to the extreme, and now we have Tim Tebow, the greatest thing since, uh, something really really great. In fact, according to good ‘ole JA, I don’t think there’s ever been anything as great in the history of the world.

If there is some sort of anti-UT site, I’m sure he’d more than gladly post there.  Or perhaps he just likes being a little attention whore and just writes what people don’t want to hear to illicit a reaction.  Either way, I suppose it’s working, because we’re giving the attention whore exactly what he wants… more attention.

As per popular request, we’ve brought back one of our biggest hits EVAR, the John Adams Hate-O-Meter 84,000.  It’s pretty much pegged where it is, so subsequent uses of the meter will more than likely remain at the current level of hatred.

You know what the cutest part is?  Reading the comments.  Why?  Because I’m fairly certain that Johnny boy himself is making up fake names to write comments on his own articles, trying to take what appears to be a neutral fan’s perspective, where he writes about the merits of the article, or the unfairness of the Adams Bashing that inevitably goes along with any article he writes.

It may be true that controversy creates cash, but at some point, it does become tiresome and repetitive.  Adams should just go ahead and hang em up in Knoxville, and move it back down to Baton Rouge where he can go on living his non-UT lifestyle.  We’ll miss ya John.  Not really.

For those of you who might not have seen it, the CBS College Sports Network (formerly CSTV), has been showing what they’ve called the “summer refreshments” series with SEC games of yore.  Games of note that have been shown include the 1996 Alabama vs. Tennessee, last year’s Tennessee vs. Kentucky overtime thriller and 2001’s Georgia vs. Tennessee game (the “squib kick” game).

Of the three games, Tennessee won 2 of them, and lost one.  The one loss was under the direction of one Randy Sanders.  Sure, it’s been awhile since Sanders was the OC, and we’ve taken more than our fair share of shots at the man, but just watching the game against Georgia, I realized how frustrating it was back then to be a Tennessee fan.  Luckily for Don and me, we both attended the University for the first year of Sanders’ reign, through pretty much his second to last year.  It was an awesome six four years.

The most frustrating part about Sanders’ offenses was that the opposing defensinve coordinator, the commentators, every single person watching in the stadium, and every single person watching at home, and even people who weren’t watching at home, knew exactly what was going to happen with the play calling.  1st down was a run of some sort (or to switch it up, sometimes an incomplete pass), 2nd down was usually a called incomplete pass.  Then for third and long?  You guessed it, draw play.

I knew what was going to happen most of the time, yet I was still pissed off at what was happening in front of me whenever I’d see such inept play calling.  It was terrible.  The plays looked familiar, since they were David Cutcliffe’s leftover tablescraps, but I think what’s more likely is that Sanders inherited what he thought was Cutcliffe’s playbook, and it was, to a point… but it was only the first page of it.  He didn’t realize that there would be more than one page’s worth of plays.  I mean, it took him 2 years just to be able to get to all the plays on that page.

Watching the Cutcliffe games was a bit more satisfying, possibly because of the use of Peyton Manning and Erik Ainge instead of Casey Clausen, but at the same time, the players looked like they were more confident overall.  I suppose that would naturally happen when a screen play actually calls for blockers instead of the superman screen that Sanders would call where the receiver would be left to fend for himself on a naked leakout to the flat.  But I’m not bitter.

Let’s hope that Dave Clawson’s got some fresh ideas, because if he calls a draw play on third and long, I’m going to need a new tv.  And a new (whatever is near my hand at the time that is a suitable projectile).  No pressure Dave.

This week’s Big Orange Roundtable is being hosted by Joel over at Rocky Top Talk. This week’s answers will be Extreme!  And that being said, will be called by the clever acronym: B.O.R.E.

Hmm, that didn’t exactly work out like I was wanting it to, so disregard that last bit about the extreme business.  Instead, this week’s answers will be answered entirely with more questions.  Here we go.

1. For some inexplicable reason, Phillip Fulmer invites Urban Meyer, Mark Richt, Steve Spurrier, Nick Saban, Les Miles, and Tommy Tuberville over to his palatial estate for a dinner party. At 2:00 a.m. the next morning, The Papa discovers that Smokey IX has been murdered. Who did it, with what, and where? Think Clue. You know, Mr. Mustard in the parlor with the candlestick?

First off, why did the Papa do such a thing?  Why would he want to get his house dirty like that?  Do we know if any of them have any Korean or Vietnamese blood in them?  Don’t they like to eat dogs?  Was Smokey not eaten?  Just murdered?  Why wouldn’t any of the coaches mentioned want to kill Smokey?  Doesn’t Mark Richt have the most to gain with one less dog mascot in the SEC?  Do you know what I’m saying here?

2. Who between Eric Berry for the defense and Gerald Jones for the Clawfense will have the biggest impact for the Vols in 2008?

The real question is: who won’t have a big impact?  Aren’t both these players game breakers and game changers?   Why didn’t I think of Clawfense?  How cool would that have been?  Will Eric Berry play lots on offense?  As much as Gerald Jones?  Will UT bust out the G-Gun formation more this season?  If so, wouldn’t Jones be the logical choice of having the biggest impact on the Clawfense?  Will there actually be Claws in the Clawfense?  Wouldn’t that be cool?

3. You devise a way to harness the Lost island’s temporal displacement properties. The island will allow you to change one thing, but one thing only, in the history of the Tennessee Volunteer football program. What do you change? By the way, Ben warns that if you try to say “2005″ or any other entire season, the mysterious clicking black smoke will sound its wailing siren, shoot from the earth, grab you by the ankles, and pound you to a pulp against a palm tree. So change only one thing. Unless, of course, you like that sort of thing.

Do you think that’s what happened is the island went into the past?  Or maybe even the future?  Do you think the producers or the writers even know what’s happening on that damn island?  What happened with the polar bear?  What about Libby being at the mental institution?  Why does Walt keep aging?  Are there no other actors who could play the part of the younger kid?  Is that why Gary Coleman and Emmanuelle Lewis had careers back in the day?  Do I digress too much?

The question being what moment in the past was the worst for Tennessee football and should be changed along with the caveat of not being able to choose an entire season?  Would changing a moment in the past make the present different?  Would the team have gelled together last year after people were asking for the coach’s head for not winning the SEC or the National Title in a while?  Can I choose to not change anything because I feel that everything in our past makes us who we are today?  Is that a cop out answer?

4. What about the future? What is your worst fear for this upcoming season, the turn of events that would send you into a blind rage?

Does a fear of the unknown count?  No?  Don’t you think losing a bunch of games would be terrible?  How many is a bunch?  Would anything other than perfection even suffice?  Would I cry if we lost to Florida, or Alabama or Georgia?  Who wouldn’t?  Do I fear those teams for our team?  Should I?  Can we just win the games so I don’t have to worry about them?  Is it football season yet?

• Southeastern Sports Blog
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• Loser With Socks

I think the question really isn’t why does John Adams suck so bad, it’s why is such an obvious awayer (opposite of homer) allowed to put up the dribble that he does on a regular basis? Mr. Awesome, er… Adams, has recently put up a coaches ranking of the coaches of the SEC.  #1 from a site called “Go Vols Xtra?”  You guessed it:  Steve Spurrier.  The Big Papa comes in at #6, with some kind of crap about how he didn’t coach at another school, thus there was no basis for comparison.

I can’t write more without killing our wordy dird censor, so, go check out the awesome article for yourself.  Don’t comment there though, because it makes you dumb, comment here.

So, the comment contest was a huge hit feature we had on Fridays.  To follow it up, I though I’d come up with a new feature called “the Friday Reminisce.”  We’ll see how it goes, and it probably won’t make it to week 2.  In the Friday Reminisce, I’ll reminisce randomly about 2 er.. random topics… and then well, you’ll read it, and love it.

1. Has anyone reading ever eaten at the Gibbs dining hall during football player dinner?  I once spent what I believe was $200 bonus bucks to eat at Gibbs, and while it was quite tasty, it wasn’t quite the steak and lobster I had heard about.  Apparently that was reserved for the football players only.  Sounded delish though.
2. Am I the only one who liked the bathrooms in the South Stadium Hall?  You know, where some old professors offices and classrooms were?  Where the old Athletic dorms used to be?  The bathrooms there were always kind of oddly warm, and some of them had showers which was cool.  Not to mention, not too many people went in there, so you could just let ‘er rip without having to worry about other people judging you.

Hope you guys enjoyed the Friday Reminisce, see you all Monday.  (Or thereabouts)

Some players seem to linger long past what I can assume is their 4 years of eligibility.  For example, Chad Henne was at Michigan for what seemed like forever.  I’m pretty sure he was there while Tom Brady was still playing, standing on the sideline wearing a hat and holding a clipboard.  Former Tennessee fullback Troy Fleming was around for what seemed to be 12 seasons.

Now I keep hearing about Pat White.  I thought he graduated something like 3 years ago?  How is it he’s coming back for another season?  Is he just going to stay til he finally gets a Heisman?  I think he came in 3rd behind Peyton Manning in the 1997 race, so who knows, maybe this will be his year.