This week’s Big Orange Roundtable is being hosted by Joel over at Rocky Top Talk. This week’s answers will be Extreme! And that being said, will be called by the clever acronym: B.O.R.E.
Hmm, that didn’t exactly work out like I was wanting it to, so disregard that last bit about the extreme business. Instead, this week’s answers will be answered entirely with more questions. Here we go.
1. For some inexplicable reason, Phillip Fulmer invites Urban Meyer, Mark Richt, Steve Spurrier, Nick Saban, Les Miles, and Tommy Tuberville over to his palatial estate for a dinner party. At 2:00 a.m. the next morning, The Papa discovers that Smokey IX has been murdered. Who did it, with what, and where? Think Clue. You know, Mr. Mustard in the parlor with the candlestick?
First off, why did the Papa do such a thing? Why would he want to get his house dirty like that? Do we know if any of them have any Korean or Vietnamese blood in them? Don’t they like to eat dogs? Was Smokey not eaten? Just murdered? Why wouldn’t any of the coaches mentioned want to kill Smokey? Doesn’t Mark Richt have the most to gain with one less dog mascot in the SEC? Do you know what I’m saying here?
2. Who between Eric Berry for the defense and Gerald Jones for the Clawfense will have the biggest impact for the Vols in 2008?
The real question is: who won’t have a big impact? Aren’t both these players game breakers and game changers? Why didn’t I think of Clawfense? How cool would that have been? Will Eric Berry play lots on offense? As much as Gerald Jones? Will UT bust out the G-Gun formation more this season? If so, wouldn’t Jones be the logical choice of having the biggest impact on the Clawfense? Will there actually be Claws in the Clawfense? Wouldn’t that be cool?
3. You devise a way to harness the Lost island’s temporal displacement properties. The island will allow you to change one thing, but one thing only, in the history of the Tennessee Volunteer football program. What do you change? By the way, Ben warns that if you try to say “2005″ or any other entire season, the mysterious clicking black smoke will sound its wailing siren, shoot from the earth, grab you by the ankles, and pound you to a pulp against a palm tree. So change only one thing. Unless, of course, you like that sort of thing.
Do you think that’s what happened is the island went into the past? Or maybe even the future? Do you think the producers or the writers even know what’s happening on that damn island? What happened with the polar bear? What about Libby being at the mental institution? Why does Walt keep aging? Are there no other actors who could play the part of the younger kid? Is that why Gary Coleman and Emmanuelle Lewis had careers back in the day? Do I digress too much?
The question being what moment in the past was the worst for Tennessee football and should be changed along with the caveat of not being able to choose an entire season? Would changing a moment in the past make the present different? Would the team have gelled together last year after people were asking for the coach’s head for not winning the SEC or the National Title in a while? Can I choose to not change anything because I feel that everything in our past makes us who we are today? Is that a cop out answer?
4. What about the future? What is your worst fear for this upcoming season, the turn of events that would send you into a blind rage?
Does a fear of the unknown count? No? Don’t you think losing a bunch of games would be terrible? How many is a bunch? Would anything other than perfection even suffice? Would I cry if we lost to Florida, or Alabama or Georgia? Who wouldn’t? Do I fear those teams for our team? Should I? Can we just win the games so I don’t have to worry about them? Is it football season yet?
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