As bloggers, we like to waste your time write meaningful and insightful things about um, things.  That being said, the inherent inferiority complex that’s built in to a blogger’s writing is bigger than that of a pasty Canadian named Rick moving to a place like Southern California.  Be that as it may, we still like to play the part of David to the mainstream media’s Goliath (or more accurately Little Mac to MSM’s Mike Tyson), ducking and weaving, and getting in little jabs here and there that the media congloms will almost surely ignore and/or pass of as being nothing more than a nuisance.

Amongst Tennessee bloggers, the target of choice has become Go Vols Xtra.  The reason being that they are essentially the only legitimate mainstream news organization that is charged with covering the Vols, and the writers often have the dynamic range of a one trick pony who never learned the first trick.  Adams hates Fulmer, UT, anything orange;  Hooker doesn’t know where he is most of the time, and his writing follows suit;  Strange writes articles that will go well with his name being part of the headline (ex. Strange: People Line Up For Tickets).

Most Tennessee bloggers have taken a jab or two at the expense of GVX, and we here have been more than guilty of that, but as it turns out, resistance is futile. No matter what we say, what we do, or how many times we hope Dave Hooker won’t write “Ironically,…” GVX will saunter on, without a care or a worry in the world, knowing that they are filling the void that Tennessee fans apparently feel so badly that there are no less than 100 comments for any football related incendiary post.

Resistance is futile motherfucker!

So, we’ll continue to play the game, poking at GVX, and they’ll continue playing their game of pretending like we don’t exist until something gives.  That something will no doubt be our “spankin’ hand” but it could just as easily be John Adams’ “hatin’ hand.”  A smoking hot female borg drone can only dream.

That was fun and always a nice “How do you do?”

edit: oh… downgraded to 5.4 sort of like Florida’s defense.  Boom! Headshot?

Another week, another roundtable.  This week hosted by: Gate21.
Contrary to popular belief, we try hard to answer the questions.
Rest assured, this week, we won’t try any funny business.
Only insightful answers and analysis shall be put forth.
No messing around with answering questions with questions.
Yesterday was yesterday, but today is today.
Maybe a little funny business might find it’s way into this week’s answers.

Week 4

1) Thus far we’ve made a number of predictions for the 2008 Vols. Now, let’s take the next step: What are your pre-season predictions for each of Tennessee’s regular season games this year (along with any explanations you feel are needed)?

2) Gameday routines, we all have them. What are your gameday rituals, especially those that are completely irrational, grounded in baseless superstition, or otherwise defy explanation?

We usually like to wake up, tug one out, and turn on Gameday.
If we wake up late and Gameday is already over, we’ll tug one out later.
Less often, we’ll be over at someone’s house where we have to be more quiet.
Less often still, we’ll be waking up next to a hot woman, who would do that for us.

3) Crompton vs. Tebow? Discuss…

With the proliferation of hard running quarterbacks, Crompton and Tebow fit the bill.
In this day and age, a QB has to be able to run hard and pass accurately.
Neither Crompton nor Tebow are prototypical QBs, but they should both be productive.

Tebow is a bit overrated in my opinion.  When he led the Gators alone, they went 9-4
He was able to rack up individual stats, but the team didn’t fare so well.
Even if Crompton didn’t have the stats, I’d rather his team do well.

4) Will the Vols manage to make it to the SEC Championship Game again this season — either outright, or through the backdoor? Why or why not?

No one should doubt the Vols after last year.
After being routed by Alabama and Florida, they were still able to do it.
This year, I see them strolling through the front door however.
If Tennessee can win a couple of games early, watch out.
Offense will be the big question mark obviously, but I think it’ll be solid.
Now the D-Line is also a question mark, but the secondary should be killer.
As long as the team gels as a cohesive unit, the SECCG is within reach.
Lose another one however, and fans will grumble like mofos.

5) Of all the coaches in the SEC who do you currently consider to be the best? Why?

This isn’t even an question for us.  Of course it’s Fulmer.
It doesn’t even compare.  Just look at his accolades.
The best winning percentage, the biggest coat size, the most desserts eaten.
Little can take away from our coach’s awesomeness.
Except stupid Urban and Steve of course.

• 3rd Saturday in Blogtober
• YMSWWC
• World According to Moondog
• UT Vols Football
• Fulmer’s Belly
• Loser With Socks
• The Power T
• Rocky Top Talk
• SouthEastern Sports Blog

Just in case you hadn’t seen it, check out Fulmer on ESPN.  Watch for the end, see how seriousy he takes lawyers in Alabama.  I know, I know, this means you’ll actually have to go to the ESPN website, but we’ve done all the maze-like navigating for you so that you don’t have to try to find your way through the mess that is that unbelievably craptacularly designed waste of cyberspace. Enjoy!

One of the coolest parts of college football is the tradition and pageantry that comes with the schools, the colors, the fans, the stadiums, and the uniforms. Of these, the helmets are often the defining characteristic of a team. Whether it is to signify what teams are playing on a marquee matchup on say, ESPN, or as graphics before a game, helmets are often the signature mark of a football team.

That being said, not all helmets are made equal. Well, actually, they probably are, but I’m talking about the designs. For the most part, teams tend to go with simpler helmet designs, with little else littering a helmet than the logo of the respective school as well as a couple of accent stripes. But of course, there are teams that want to buck the trend by adding unnecessary, for lack of a better word crap, to their helmets.

Oftentimes, the extra symbols and markings are used as accolade type markings, akin to receiving a game ball. I’ve always felt that any extra markings on a helmet felt amateurish. Something that perhaps a high school would do to show their players that “yeah Billy Ray, you’re doing a bang up job.” Luckily, most of the SEC doesn’t partake in this tradition which is a good thing because the SEC stands for tradition and simplicity. Unfortunately, most doesn’t always mean all. Which takes us to: Georgia.

Georgia has a bit of tradition no doubt, but the dawg dog bones on the backs of their helmets are ridiculous. There’s just way too much crap going on on those helmets.

Honestly, look at all that crap.

Due to this, they join company with the likes of Ohio State, and Hawai’i, the team they so handily beat last year in the Sugar Bowl. Sure, UGA is picked as a preseason top 2 in many polls but until they get rid of the crap on the helmets, I can’t take them seriously.  If they take the dog bones off the back will I take them seriously?  Well, not until they get rid of the silver britches.  But that’s a discussion for a different time.

Btw, I’d like to take this opportunity to plug the awesome Helmet Project website.  It’s fantastic, and if you’re a geek like me, you’ll be able to spend hours just looking at pictures of helmets (in between having sex with Victoria’s Secret models of course).

So, something interesting seems to be happening in the fallout of subpoenagate.  Vol nation is becoming united behind the Big Papa.  Infighting had become a daily occurrence within the ranks of Tennessee fans with a vocal minority (IMO) calling for Fulmer’s head and blaming him for everything that hasn’t gone right with the program.  Nevermind that the only reason there are top 10 recruiting classes with the likes of players like Eric Berry, Deon Grant, Peyton Manning, Al Wilson, Travis Henry, Jamal Lewis, John Henderson, Albert Haynesworth, et al, is because of Fulmer himself.  Watch and see what happens with LSU once they start bringing in Oklahoma State caliber players as Les Miles is no doubt doing at the moment.

Perhaps another thing that has caught some people off guard is the fact that Fulmer became so fired up about the “BS” that is facing him down in Bammerville.  If you didn’t think before that the Papa had it in him to get fired up and even cuss, you’ve obviously never heard an accidental open mic trained on the coach during a football game.  It’s enough to make a sailor blush.  That being said, you don’t piss off a big orange man.  A BIG big orange man at that.  I’m not envious of Alabama this year when they come to Knoxville.  I’d imagine there’ll be some bus-rocking and a few choice words slung at the players.

If you’re the kind of person to believe in conspiracies, perhaps this was one of the greatest conspiracies orchestrated in the history of college football fan manipulation.  Who knows, maybe the Bammer booster who paid off the high school kid is really a Tennessee boy, and this whole deal has been a charade to make the fans realign behind the head coach.  If so, bravo.  If not, it doesn’t matter anyway, because mission: accomplished.

Seriously, don’t piss off the Papa.

Edit: Just as an aside, we’d like to go ahead and say that as far as we can tell, the University nor it’s current boosters have anything to do with this particular lawsuit.  It appears that it is just one disgruntled former Alabama booster (a car salesman from Chattanooga no less), trying his best to get his 14 minutes of fame.  We’ll see how it plays out, but as far as the University of Alabama, I’d venture to say they’d try to distance themselves from this particular incident.

Some of the big news going around the world of sports this week is not the SEC Media Days, but rather the United States Army’s decision to not let Caleb Campbell, the 7th round draft pick of the Detroit Tigers, play in the NFL. The army decided at the 11th hour (1 day before training camp started for the Lions) that Campbell would no longer be eligible to use what was essentially a loophole for cadets to somewhat forego their active duty time and instead serve as a recruiter in the market in which he was playing.

The Army got great publicity when Campbell was drafted in the 7th round, no doubt sparking interest in West Point and the Army in general.  theI suppose, as the initial burst of interest waned, the Army decided that they would need one more warm body to go… I don’t know, march somewhere or something.  Apparently the recall doesn’t even really affect the ranks of the active duty personnel because Campbell will be serving his time as a Graduate Assistant for football at West Point.  That’s a great allocation of resources there guys.

The thing being that for any of the positive publicity the Army might have gotten from Campbell being drafted, they’re no doubt going to get oodles of noodles of bad publicity in the form of news outlets and little inconsequential blogs writing about how the Army dropped the ball with Campbell, and lose any of the credibility and publicity they may have gained in the first place.

Here’s hoping the Army does the right thing and changes their mind, because it’s not only unfair to Campbell, but also the Lions who used a draft pick on this kid.  Now, I know several people who were in the Army, and they’re all very upstanding people, but from what I can gather, the management office might not always be doing things for the right reasons.  So, I’ll lay it out to you like this, Army.  If you don’t let this kid play football, I’m not joining.  If you do let him play, I’m not joining either, but if you don’t let him play, I’m really not joining.  Eat that.