Nom Nom Nom!

Quite possibly the awesomest thing I’ve ever seen in my life…

Check it out 

Scroll down slowly… and prepare yourself for awesomeness…

Okay, going along with the theme from over the weekend, who was the worst UT football player? I’m going to put a condition on the answers by saying that the player has to have seen at least somewhat significant playing time as there have always been and will always be, players that either get hurt and can’t play or don’t pan out and don’t play.

I’ve added a feature to let you guys put in your own choices if you please.

The NFL Draft was held over the weekend in New York City, which saw the top 6 projected players taken 1-6 in the draft for the first time in history. Of course, none of them were Vols, but they made up for it by schlepping Jerod Mayo off to Boston with the 10th overall pick. I’m happy for Mayo, because I think it’s an excellent situation he’s walking into, and he should find some great success there as the heir apparent to Tedy Bruschi, but I kind of hate the Patriots, so I don’t know what to think about that.

Some quick hits:

• Other players being drafted included Brad Cottam to KC, the probable successor for Tony Gonzales, and Erik Ainge to the New York Jets, which is actually a pretty fantastic situation for him as all the Jets quarterbacks suck ass.
• Apparently this new Coach Clawson fellow knows something about players and coaching them up as the Spiders were one player shy of Tennessee’s draft numbers (2 vs. 3), which is an indication of how awesome the Vols have been as of late.
• On a side note, it was nice watching the NFL Network’s coverage of the draft because resident homer Charles Davis slipped in a “Go Vols” during the first day’s broadcast, and even Jamie Dukes of CSS fame from back in the day is pretty fun to watch as well.
• The Titans (my pro team of choice, fortunately or unfortunately for me) had another spectacular draft.  And by “spectacular,” I mean “shittacular.”  Seriously, as if the Chris Henry pick from last year wasn’t bad enough, they spend their first round pick on another RB who is “fast” or whatever, and second round pick on some dude from Eastern Michigan?  Give me a freakin’ break.  I feel bad for Vince Young because the Titans are essentially screwing him from behind, and I don’t think he swings that way.
• Bill Polian likes Bit Ten guys, and I can respect that, Jerry Jones likes Arkansas and SEC guys, and I can respect that, are there any owners out there who like mid-major, no-reason-to-like-the-conference guys?
• John Chavis might look like a child molester with his pornstache, but man, he’s got a lot of good players playing on Sundays.

Well well well… Bring in the ladies, and people climb out of the woodwork. We had a plethora of comments this week, as people weighed in on their thoughts about the worst Vol player of all time as well as the hottest Lady Vol of all time. There were some interesting entries, but in the end, one comment stood out as particularly insightful and intriguing was drawn at random. (Note: acknowledgment of the winning comment does not advocate our views here at Fulmer’s Belly.com, even though we probably do agree, we won’t straight up come out and say it).

This week’s winner: Floppy Seconds:

1. Matt McGlothlin (I think). He started in 2006 when DT’s began dropping like flys. In the Arkansas game that year McFadden juked him so bad he fell straight on his face. He was in the back field due to a missed bloking assignment. McFadden did a little shimmy and McGlothin’s knees buckled. If it wasn’t my beloved Vols it would have been maybe the funniest shit I’ve seen in my life.

2. Ace Clement. Brittanty Jackson was okay. Tall, Thick, Blonde Hair, Blue Eyes but something about Clement says tied up and getting rode like a rented Columbian mule. Which in my book is good.

The comment was ok, but with a name like “Floppy Seconds” and the bit about “rented Columbian mule” put me over the edge. As was previously stated, this is not an endorsement either way of either player, as there were good arguments (i.e. “The Future” and Brittany Jackson), we’re just picking one comment to have fun with.

Perhaps it’s because I had one of those “encounters” with Ace Clement on the strip one time (nothing happened, because I was too big of a puss to actually say anything to the girls), but she’s still got a special place in my pants heart.

Thanks to everyone for contributing, the comments were fantastic. Tune in again on Friday for the next installment of the Comment Contest!

*P.S. Check back tomorrow for our thoughts on the Draft.

Okay, so the comment contest was a huge hit, with something like… 3 comments of which I picked one, and alienated the other 2 readers of the site. That being said, Daniel probably won’t win this week’s comment contest (unless he writes something about poop or farts again, in which case he probably will).

I do feel a bit of responsibility however for last week’s lack of comments as the questions were a bit vague at best, and will attempt to do better this week by putting up some better questions. And by “better questions” of course I mean… “questions that I can think of that aren’t last week’s questions.” And here we go.

*Best comment will be featured on Monday, and be ridiculed mercilessly.

1. Who is/was the worst UT Football Player (starters or those who played extensively only) of all time and why?
2. Who is/was the hottest UT Lady Vols Basketball Player (open to all players, whether they played or warmed the bench with their fine asses)? (We will attempt our best to find a grouping of pictures of the lady that wins)

We will have a similar discussion over the next couple of months with all the other SEC schools, and have a Single-Elimination deathmatch between the winners, at which point, the Tennessee players will probably be named the champions.

Good luck, and tune in Monday to see the big winners!

I suppose the huge news of the week… if you can call it that, was the surgery on the elbow of probable starting quarterback Jon Crompton.  Being arthroscopic surgery, the surgery itself wasn’t very invasive, and probably only required a couple of stitches to close the incisions made in order to insert the tubes and arthroscopic tubes.

That being said, of course local news outlets are taking their sweet time stretching it out into a full article in order to fill page space for a newspaper that no one reads in print anymore.  Honestly, if there is a super short story, why not just write said short story and let it go?  Why?  Because newspapers still think they can make money off of… well, papers.

I recently went through an “A” section of my local newspaper where I saw a 2 page section in which nearly 95% was filled with ads (one page was a full-page ad, 50%, the other page had about 2 columns worth of “news” 5%).  The big question I have is: who are these idiots buying ad space in the paper anyway?

If the ad space were to buy you simultaneous ad space on the website, I’d say it’s a good buy, but generally speaking, they are two separate entities.  When was the last time anybody that you know took out a classified ad for reasons other than a joke?  The last classified ad I took out was… wait, I’ve never taken one out because when I wanted to, I was too young, and when I became old enough, it wasn’t cool anymore.  Who likes to try to sell something to an audience of a few thousand people, when ebay is your friend and you have a potential audience of millions?   Also, people these days don’t understand “newspaper shorthand” which has instead been replaced by “internet shorthand” which quite frankly doesn’t help you ever sell anything.  That is unless…

zomg! hot txt fone w/cam roflol! g2g! <3

That being said, none of the people actually reading the paper version of the um, paper, would ever understand wtf you meant.  See? I just did it too.

Hmm, this article has sort of taken an turn for the worse.  Where were we?  Oh yeah, and something about Crompton’s elbow, and “foreign bodies” that were removed.  If the KNS/GVX “megaconglomerate” were smart, they would have made the story about the “foreign bodies” being extracted from one staring quarterback’s elbow.  What the hell kind of “bodies” can be present in an elbow?  Was he smuggling illegal Mexicans?  If so, were the proper authorities notified of the situation?  Could there be more “foreign bodies” in other parts of his body?  Speaking of which, where did Crompton go?  Last I heard he was taking a “vacation” down to Guantanamo Bay for some sun and fun.

Now that would be a story I could get behind, but instead, they dropped the ball, and in turn gave me something to fill an entire article about.  Thanks again KNS!

You know how we’ve been talking about how there’s nothing to do during the offseason? Well, the issue persists, and there’s nothing to write about. Sure, there’s some stuff to write about, but quite frankly, I’m going to save it to try to make the offseason seem less, shitty. That being said, we’re interested to see where everyone is so…