**Disclaimer** So, after reading this post, it’ll be painfully obvious that it was written a long time ago. How long? Well, long enough ago that there was an American Football league in Europe, that’s how long ago. Thanks Roger Goodell, for fucking up everything that used to be fun about football. Ex-cons playing in the league, a quirky professor running the thing who wasn’t drunk-ass on power, and a semi-fun European league to tide me over during my fits of football withdrawal. Fuck Roger Goodell, fuck him up his stupid ass. **Disclaimer**
You know, when there’s no (college) football being played, it serves as a nice distraction to still be able to watch football. That being said, the Saturday football fix has been filled by the NFL for the last week or two. The NFL Network, possibly the second greatest TV station ever (behind the yet-to-be-created SEC Channel) has decided to air NFL games on Thursdays and Saturdays because they know that when those days come around, people like myself, like the trained monkeys we are, congregate around the television set and look for football.
Now, the NFL network is still a relatively novice network, and they’re still working out their kinks (I like the one about the ladies in the boots), and well, they’ve made a few mistakes that need to be fixed. The biggest problem? Personnel. Now, Rich Eisen, Steve Mariucci, Deion Sanders, Marshall Faulk, Rod Woodson, and all the other guys on the network? Awesome. They offer insight, and a good dose of humor. But when you get to the commentators for the channel, they all suck pretty bad. I mean, for the most part, the NFL Europa commentators were fine, but once they started showing regular season games on the network, they brought in “names” like Some Dude, and Who Gives a Crap, and well, Bryant Gumbel.
Why do I hate Bryant Gumbel so much? Because his voice is higher than mine was before I went through puberty and got kicked in the nads that one time. His voice sounds downright womanly, and when he’s trying to act like he knows what the hell he’s talking about, I just can’t take him seriously. There’s in fact a female commentator out there now, that is actually pretty well versed on this game of American Football who, despite my hating her for the first few years, has sort of grown on me. Like a fungus. Who is this manly woman commentator you ask? Why Pam Ward of course.
Pam Ward: manlier than Bryant Gumbel.
We’re pretty sure that Pam will probably be fired by ESPN sooner rather than later if for no other reason than being forced into duty week in and week out with the likes of Chris Spielman, and his “I should sound like I care, so I’ll sound like I’m crapping my pants whilst I talk” style, makes everyone want to commit some sort of homicide. Just saying NFL Network, if you’re going to have a lady on your broadcasts, might as well make it one who knows football.
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