Check out the feature Joel has going over at RTT with the best plays of 2006 complete with videos! I have to say, it’s very entertaining to watch all the good moments again, and makes me giddy about the upcoming season.

I think he’s on round two right now, complete with videos featuring “Derek Smith.” That guy was good, but he kinda disappeared after the Memphis game… weird. Instead, there was some kid named “Bret.” Thanks alot Chris Spielman… dumbass.

First off, we here at Fulmer’s Belly refuse to spell “days” in any way resembling “daze” because however clever writers think they are, it’s not funny nor clever. It’s like the radio station that comes up with the super original “Rocktoberfest” which, in a nutshell, is lame.

Anyway, there’s plenty of coverage about the media festivities on actual “news” touting blogs, so we’ll leave it to them, since they do a good job of actually reading the material, and not making stuff up like we do. That being said, the most interesting thing to come out of the media days seems to be that there are no “new” coaches this year.

Sure, Nick Saban is at a new school, but he’s been there and done that before. Steve Spurrier is already on year 3 at South Carolina, and Urban Meyer and Les Miles are all but hardened criminals SEC Coaches now. The most exclusive fraternity in the world of collegiate athletics converged once again in Birmingham for what was sure to be a fun, drunken, rule-breaking, other-conference-bashing time.

Much has been said lately about the state of the SEC, and namely the SEC East with regards to who will step it up this year and pull themselves out of mediocrity (Kentucky and South Carolina being at the forefront), as well as if the “big three” can keep up their domination of that half of the league.

Without actually having been in the room, we can only surmise that there was quite a bit of awkward man-touching going on. That, and fist fight between Urban Meyer and Steve Spurrier followed immediately by a fist/belly fight between Spurrier and Fulmer, with of course… FULMER’S BELLY getting the upper hand when Steve’s middle initial “O” was eaten due to it’s familiar doughnut-ish appearance.

We’ll just post it one more time for posterity: Steve O. Spurrier is now just Steve Spurrier after the O-ectomy suffered at the hands of yours truly. You’re welcome.

**Disclaimer** So, after reading this post, it’ll be painfully obvious that it was written a long time ago. How long? Well, long enough ago that there was an American Football league in Europe, that’s how long ago. Thanks Roger Goodell, for fucking up everything that used to be fun about football. Ex-cons playing in the league, a quirky professor running the thing who wasn’t drunk-ass on power, and a semi-fun European league to tide me over during my fits of football withdrawal. Fuck Roger Goodell, fuck him up his stupid ass. **Disclaimer**

You know, when there’s no (college) football being played, it serves as a nice distraction to still be able to watch football. That being said, the Saturday football fix has been filled by the NFL for the last week or two. The NFL Network, possibly the second greatest TV station ever (behind the yet-to-be-created SEC Channel) has decided to air NFL games on Thursdays and Saturdays because they know that when those days come around, people like myself, like the trained monkeys we are, congregate around the television set and look for football.

Now, the NFL network is still a relatively novice network, and they’re still working out their kinks (I like the one about the ladies in the boots), and well, they’ve made a few mistakes that need to be fixed. The biggest problem? Personnel. Now, Rich Eisen, Steve Mariucci, Deion Sanders, Marshall Faulk, Rod Woodson, and all the other guys on the network? Awesome. They offer insight, and a good dose of humor. But when you get to the commentators for the channel, they all suck pretty bad. I mean, for the most part, the NFL Europa commentators were fine, but once they started showing regular season games on the network, they brought in “names” like Some Dude, and Who Gives a Crap, and well, Bryant Gumbel.

Why do I hate Bryant Gumbel so much? Because his voice is higher than mine was before I went through puberty and got kicked in the nads that one time. His voice sounds downright womanly, and when he’s trying to act like he knows what the hell he’s talking about, I just can’t take him seriously. There’s in fact a female commentator out there now, that is actually pretty well versed on this game of American Football who, despite my hating her for the first few years, has sort of grown on me. Like a fungus. Who is this manly woman commentator you ask? Why Pam Ward of course.

Pam Ward: manlier than Bryant Gumbel.

We’re pretty sure that Pam will probably be fired by ESPN sooner rather than later if for no other reason than being forced into duty week in and week out with the likes of Chris Spielman, and his “I should sound like I care, so I’ll sound like I’m crapping my pants whilst I talk” style, makes everyone want to commit some sort of homicide. Just saying NFL Network, if you’re going to have a lady on your broadcasts, might as well make it one who knows football.

If you guys are having problems loading the site in a timely manner, we are sort of aware of the problem, and doing what we can to fix it.  By “doing what we can to fix it,” I mean, “waiting for Google to fix their analytics program.”  So, don’t be pissed at us, be pissed at Google.

And while you’re over there, pick us up some food from what is apparently an awesome cafeteria.

Sorry for the problems, hopefully we Google can get it resolved soon.

~Thanks,

Administrator.

Okay, so since it’s the offseason, we’ve been holding back on doing our super popular “Female of the Week” segment (which btw, if you or someone you know would like to be featured, drop us a line at admin@fulmersbelly.com… doesn’t even have to be a UT girl, can be an opposing team hottie, we don’t discriminate), but that left us with a noticeable lack of sexy ladies on our site. But at the same time, everyone loves hot girls. Even hot girls love hot girls, so we’re embarking on a new segment we like to call “Six Degrees of Tennessee” that’ll be featured on Wednesdays. Why Wednesday? Because it’s hump day of course. And because there’s nothing else to write about midweek. But really because it’s hump day… yeah.

How it’s going to work is simple: we’ll find some random hot girl, be it actress, singer, model, whoever, and attempt to find a link Kevin Bacon style, back somehow to Tennessee in six degrees or less. I can already imagine, as with our first girl that most of the actresses will hopefully be connected somehow to Quentin Tarantino or Samuel L. Jackson in some way, because frankly, we’re not that smart. Anyway, without further ado, the first installment of SDoT:

Jessica Biel

Check out the string and a couple more pics of Jessica after the jump…

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ESPN used to be the geeky kid in the back of the class who was smart, and funny, but not that many people knew about it because he was socially awkward, and didn’t feel the need to reach out.  Then something happened.  They were noticed by the pretty girl in class, and suddenly grew a newfound confidence in their coolness.  A problem surfaced however, when it was revealed that the girl liked things about him that weren’t really that cool to begin with.

I realize that that was a bit of a terrible analogy seeing as how I’ve probably lost you, as I know I’ve lost myself (which is why I started a new paragraph), but what I mean to say is, ESPN used to be cool because they showed sports.  They showed all kinds of sports.  Whether it be coverage of football, baseball, basketball, fishing, midget tossing, speed walking, competitive fart sniffing… you get the idea.  Then they started showing some shows.  Then, they started showing more shows.  Now, it’s nothing but farking shows.  It’s awful.

LAist, a Los Angeles blog had a really good comparison for the current downfall of ESPN: MTV.

ESPN calls itself the “Worldwide Leader in Sports”. Unfortunately, however, now that the boys from Bristol are sitting very comfortably on top, they seem to be cutting back on what made them the juggernaut they’ve become – SPORTS.

Similar to the way MTV stopped playing music, ESPN has cut down on the sports coverage replacing it with movies, mini-series, branded entertainment, sick kids, award shows, gimmicks and game shows, all while shoving their “talent” down our throats.

I’ve come to realize that the only time I ever watch the crappy sports network is during football season, and even then, only to watch games, or if Tennessee won, to watch the recaps, and attempt to re-live the glory.  Other than that, I’ve maybe caught 30 minutes of Sportscenter TOTAL since the end of football/basketball season.  The only thing good on anymore is Sportscenter, and occasionally football games.  Oh yeah, and cheerleaders.  But really, that’s it.  ESPN, I’ll agree to love to hate you.  That is all.

So, since there’s absolutely nothing else going on right now, I thought I’d bring up an interesting question to not only Tennessee fans, but fans across the SEC. Who do you hate more? Les Miles? or Nick Saban?

Les Miles, the current LSU Tigers coach, was formerly of the Big XII, and basically handed a team loaded with talent like nobody’s business. Of course, having even a pulse would have guided those teams to 11 win seasons, but we’ve seen in the past, bigger bunglings with similar talent. Miles was thrown into the fire in his first season having to deal with the aftermath of hurricanes Katrina and Rita, which must have been difficult to handle, but Miles was able to hold his head high, and keep up a semblance of sanity and class throughout the whole ordeal. Also, he learned that he needed a big boy headset at that first home game against Tennessee.

Nick Saban, the former LSU Tigers coach and current coach of the Alabama Crimson Tide, left LSU unceremoniously only to head back to the ranks of the SEC West but at a different school only 2 years after having left a program that he took to the national title game. Of course, he burned quite a few bridges at LSU due to his departure, but apparently became the messiah of Tuscaloosa when he signed on to be the second coming of Bear Bryant.

Both coaches have been with powerhouse programs, and both coaches are just a little bit smug and coach in the West, but if I would have to choose, I guess I’d have to choose Saban to hate more. Not only because he’s just a little too smug, but because he coaches now for the team that is evil. Here’s hoping to the two coaches fist fighting every year, with Miles’ baby-headset squaring off against Saban’s super-locks.