It has come to our attention that quite frankly, only about 3 people read this blog. I mean, actually read it. Upon looking through our working sitemeter, I’ve come to realize that most of the hits our site receives comes from Google Image Searches for “Cheerleaders” “Becca Mans” (the ousted Louisville naked cheerleader) and well, various combinations of “Belly” and “Cheerleader.”

All of these are what I consider to be “empty hits,” with most of them leading to visits just long enough to download pictures of cheerleaders and get out. Sure, our visit numbers might be inflated due to the fact that we use the word cheerleader so often, and thus pushing us up near the top of the list for cheerleaders and for hot naked sexy action but we’re serious writers here. And by serious writers, of course I mean, cheerleaders. I mean, it doesn’t really matter what I write here as long as there’s some sort of reference to all the hot naked cheerleaders every sentence or two to get our visit numbers nice and inflated, seeing as how no one actually reads this thing.

Hmm, well, perhaps it will change once football season starts. But who knows, because the football cheerleaders are pretty hot too.

Florida offensive lineman Ronnie Wilson has been charged with aggravated assault and battery after discharging a semi-automatic weapon after an altercation at a nightclub.

“How do you feel about having to lose your butt virginity in prison?” … “I’m going to film it on this here camera”

UF is obviously a little embarrassed by their lack of arrests last year compared to their Tennessee rivals. So much so that they one-upped us by graduating from toy guns to real guns. I would say it’s time for Tennessee to really step it up this year, but I’m afraid it will start a nasty escalation. Done right, however, and we could really use this to our advantage. We could get a bunch of our guys out there and have a big water fight with those comical looking Super Soaker guns. Police will inevitably see a bunch of large black men waving them and somehow mistake them for real guns. Players from UF will hear about this and have a similar fight, but they will use AK-47s. And grenades. Then who’s Tim Tebow going to throw to? His armless receivers? Tebow’s stupid.

Edit: ESPN Ombudsperson Le Anne Schreiber has posted a response to those who sent in their concerns regarding the Cowherd incident, Check it out HERE………………… (see? I made it longer, so you wouldn’t have to be super-precise in the clicking of the link…)

So, this was a bad weekend to be an asshat radio announcer. Also, it was a bad weekend to be a football player (having no convictions, worse than being in jail btw).As it turns out, the campaign to get Colin Cowherd’s dumbass suspended or fired, fell a little short, but there was an official response from ESPN regarding the incident as well as the creation of a so-called “zero tolerance policy.” Hopefully the people that are counting the zeros in the policy aren’t the same ones who named the Big Ten. Anyway, Kyle has the skinny over at Dawg Sports, so check it out.

The Big Lead is back up and running too, and they have posted their take on the situation as well. Now, don’t everybody all go flooding their site or anything, because we all know how much clout Fulmer’s Belly holds in these matters.

The second little piece of radio DJ news was that Don Imus secretly reads this blog, and not wanting to be a complete asshat like Colin Cowherd and steal our material directly, he used our post about UNC and Ivory Latta as inspiration for comments made about the Lady Vols’ next opponent, the Rutgers Nappy Headed Hos Scarlet Knights. Well, due to these comments (which were pretty short overall), Don Imus was suspended.

Personally, I don’t have a problem with comments such as the ones that he made, because, what’s the point in having a radio program if you can’t say things like “nappy headed hos?” I do however, think that Don Imus should have been suspended long ago, for just being an asshat in general. Imus created the category in which Cowherd finds his current residence. They should run off together, holding hands, and smacking each other in the ass. Because that’s what asshats do.

In unrelated asshat note, Commissioner Roger “I’m Trying To Look Tough By Gritting My Teeth” Goodell, has taken it upon himself to suspend Chris Henry and Pacman Jones. The disparity however, comes from the fact that although the number of incidents as well as the severity of incidents between the two players was similar overall, Henry’s indiscretions were lost in a sea of bad behavior in Cincinnati, while the media successfully perpetrated a witch hunt against Pacman Jones for not having been convicted of a single crime.

Perhaps it sounds like I’m being a homer here, but as far as I’m concerned, I think people have been too hard on the guy. I’m not going to use the excuse that he grew up in a bad area or whatever, but if someone wants to make an argument against the character of a person by citing the law as an example, I think it should also be a rule that if the law has found no wrongdoing, that much should be stated.

“But he’s been questioned 10 times, whaa whaa whaa” is what the pitchfork-wielding villagers would yell, but if you think about it, maybe the police are just really big fans of Pacman. Maybe Pac has a special relationship with the police, where he always has donuts on his person as a little treat to the next guy to stop him? I mean, do we really know what questions were asked of Pacman? I don’t think so. What if it went something like this:

Officer: Hey dude! What’s up?
Pacman: Nothin’ much.
Officer: Got something in the pants for you’re ‘ole pal today?
Pacman: You’re just gonna have to check like always
Officer: Sweet, I hope it’s jelly-filled donuts
Pacman: Well, you’re in for a big surprise then
Officer: Oh man, buttercream!
Pacman: I knew you’d like the buttercream, so I filled my pants with cream too!
Officer: LOL Pacman, you always make me ROFL
Pacman: O RLY?
Officer: Hells yes!!1!!!one!!eleventy!!

So, there you have it. I have uncovered the reasoning behind all the questioning with my awesome investigative reporting skills (eat that CBS!), and now Pacman can play again next year. Seriously though, if you think he’s gonna get in less trouble having a year of nothing to do, but with millions of dollars still lining his pockets? Well, then that makes you a dumbass Mr. Goodell.

So, people have probably heard about Colin Cowherd, the wisest man on the radio, going on the air and thinking that it’d be funny to get his listeners to go to a smaller blog, and crashing it.  Well, they’ve gotten the attention of some of the big boys in the blogging world (Burnt Orange Nation and Every Day Should Be Saturday).

Well, here’s hoping that there be no wrath like that of a scorned blogger otherwise known as the wrath of Orson Swindle.  Oh, and if you want to do your part, go to This here link… and write about how Colin Cowherd is awesome.  And by “awesome,” I mean, “not awesome.”

Doing my part to screw him back, I’m HOTLINKING this pic! MUAHAHAHA

So, there’s lots of gadget blogs out there, but there’s a new one out there that is cool.  It’s not cool because they showcase gadgets, and they’re not cool because they showcase new cars.  No, they’re cool because they have an Orange Gadgets category.

Check out Gear Patrol, because you’re a manly man.  And then come right back here.

Oh yeah, and they have pics of hot chicks over there too.

Not Orange, but still awesome.

WATE in Knoxville showed the Lady Vols’ Championship celebration from the abandoned oft used Convention Center in Knoxville. At about the 4:00 mark, a big fat balding man shifted over to block the camera shot of the Mayor. Of course, on first look, we here at Fulmer’s Belly knew that it was the balding head of our glorious football coach, Phillip Fulmer.

Check the Video out after the jump.

(more…)

The Lady Volunteers of the University of Tennessee, have brought back a National Championship to Rocky Top.

Trying for a sappy pic
Pat Summitt, winning her seventh National Championship, is only 3 behind John Wooden all time in that category.  She has been to every single Sweet 16 since the Ladies’ Tournament was created.  The floor at Thompson-Boling Arena was named in her honor.  Now, she’ll be hoisting her seventh banner into the rafters.

Bruce Pearl, Summitt supporter to the max, will no doubt try to add his contributions to the rafters, but for all intents and purposes, that building belongs to Summitt.

Candace Parker, showing her ability as a complete all around player, was able to score, but just as importantly, able to pass to create points for her team.  Shannon Bobbitt, at 5′2″ was able to cause fits for the Rutgers team who was known for their ferocity on defense, giving them a taste of their own medicine, even coming up with an offensive rebound off a missed free throw.

Who’s number one?  We are.

Congratulations to the Lady Vols of Tennessee, and Pat Summitt, bringing another National Championship to the Volunteer State, and doing it the right way, with class, humility and better looking players than the opposing team.

GO LADY VOLS!