I seriously hope we don’t have to keep writing this headline.  I guess it raises the question: do we suck again?

Hopefully the answer to this is “no,” although it’s hard to say at this point, the numbers do point out that the squad is under .500 in the SEC.  Perhaps we should switch to a “crappy” conference like the Big 12 or Conference USA, because we seem to be able to beat teams from that conference.

Of course, there is another explanation: Chris Lofton is just that awesome.  The first game in a couple years for the Vols without Lofton was a loss.  Of course, the team can make up for it by beating down Kentucky for the next game. If Chris doesn’t come back, well, we can probably chalk up another loss on the ‘ole board.

Come back Chris… PLEEEEEASE

We here at Fulmer’s Belly have never really been that good at math, but from our limited math abilities, we’ve learned of a theory called inequality.   This is when something is (in layman’s terms) “greater than” or “less than” something else.  For example:  SEC Football is GREATER THAN all other forms of football.

Every once in awhile, there is an occurrence known as the equality.  This is when two things are equal in value.  Well, we’re not Master’s Degree holders in chemical synthesis or anything (… well, one of us isn’t), but if you ask us, this next equation holds pretty freaking true:
= ?

This pic shows it a bit, but there was a video of the good coach at the game flexing his muscles, and well, those refs that have been telling him to calm down better watch out, because, well, the transformation has begun, and Pearl… Not… Happy!

Seriously, I would pay an extra $10 for a basketball ticket if I knew Coach Pearl and his staff would spell out stuff during basketball games that he’s actually coaching.  And you know what?  Tennessee vs. Southwestern Mississippi Technical College of the South, Jackson would be on ESPN primetime.

Awesome video of the transformation after the jump…

(more…)

Wow, what a game.

The Colts were able to beat the Gators Patriots in the AFC Championship game for a trip to the Super Bowl.  A huge part of the win was Peyton Manning’s play, but ask any UT fan, and they’ll say it was just as much due to a couple of key drops by Reche Caldwell.

Tennessee fans will no doubt remember the game against the Gators when Jabar Gaffney caught a phantom touchdown against the Vols to rally to victory in Knoxville (I was at that game, and I cried.  I cried because I knew that no one would ever realize how awesome I was, but it looked like I was crying because we lost the game).  A couple of the Caldwell drops, if the game had been officiated by SEC officials, they would no doubt have been called touchdowns.  Notwithstanding that they weren’t even in the end zone, but you know how it is with those unscrupulous refs.

Peyton, unable to defeat the Gators in four tries whilst in college, was able to come back and earn his redemption in a stage set under the banner of the AFC Championship Game, simultaneously vaulting the monkey off his back, sending it flying into the upper deck.

Many times, fans of college football (particularly in the South) become de facto fans of certain pro teams because of college allegiances, and in a sense, this was true of this game, with impact players representing UT and UF in the eyes of SEC fans across the country.

Well, it’s gonna be another Tennessee-Florida matchup at the Super Bowl with Peyton Manning taking on Rex Grossman for a chance to be the World Champions (why are only American Teams eligible?  More on that later) in Football.  Enjoy.

Louisville, the school with a lil’ chip on it’s shoulder, the school that thinks it can play with the big boys (trust me, it can’t), the school that thinks it’s a good idea to sell out to corporate pressure, sucks.

Now, to break with the tradition, they don’t suck because they beat the BasketVols, but they suck for a much more egregious reason.  They have kicked a girl off of their cheer squad and out of the school, for being… well, a college student.

If you haven’t heard or seen on your favorite porn news site, Becca Manns, former cheerleader for the Louisville Papa Johns Cardinals was kicked not only off the cheer squad, but out of school for having taken explicit photos of herself.  I guess technically it wasn’t because she took the photos so much as her ex-boyfriend distributed said pictures.

When you start kicking kids out of school for being horny, where do you stop?  I mean, all you’d have left would be the really super nerdy kids.  I mean, even most regular nerdy kids, and all geeks and well, everyone else is super horny all the time.  There is however, like the mythical blue people of Kentucky, a group of students that exist, although have never been seen, that do not get horny.  What the hell was I talking about?  Oh yeah, those would be the only people left.

Isn’t that the point of cheerleaders anyway?  I mean, if sexuality didn’t matter, they should just be dressed up in ankle skirts and long sleeve shirts.  Actually, that sounds kinda hot.  Don’t ask me why.

Anyway, I know everyone is anxious to get on to the pics, and well, we’d love to oblige, and chances are, no one reads this site anyway, so we probably should just post up a bunch of pics of this girl’s boobies, but we shall refrain.  It’ll be really easy to find pics for yourself, so for reference purposes, here’s who you’re looking for:

This is close to the only SFW pic we could find.

You know what?  I’d totally hit that.  I mean, not that that’s ever meant anything.  Here’s a typical exchange:

jon: I’d hit that
Girl: Excuse me?
jon: You’re hot, can we do it?
Girl: (smack)
jon: Is that a yes or a no?

Alas, such is the life of a loser totally awesome dude.  Damnit, when did this turn into an interrogation of my love life?  Let’s bring the focus back people!  Louisville sucks, because they hate boobies!  Louisville, why do you hate boobies?  Louisville sucks.

Hopefully we can retire this set of headlines after today.  Auburn, as well as Yahoo, suck, beating the Volunteers by a score of 83-77 80.  Why does Yahoo suck too?  Well, not living in the south anymore, I’ve found the necessity to “watch” the games on the Yahoo video, but pictures freezing as well as rebuffering literally every 3 seconds doesn’t, to me, constitute “watching” anything except my fist going through the monitor.

Auburn, with their 30 fans in attendance, were able to rally from a 14 point deficit to beat the Vols, who have dropped 3 straight games.  The only bright point was that Bruce Pearl got another Technical Foul, bringing his total for the season to somewhere in the neighborhood of 46.  If we can’t beat you, our coach will cuss you out.  Eat THAT SEC!

Anyway, I guess it’s better to get the losses out of the way now, rather than dropping any games at the end of the season.  Yeah, that’s it.

Linda’s at it again. Actually, she’s not, but she was interviewed for the story involving Demetrice Morley being dismissed from the University for super shitty grades.

“I don’t think there’s going to be any change at Tennessee,” Bensel-Meyers, who is now an associate professor at the University of Denver, said in a telephone interview. “The teams that will prosper are those that are able to disguise the ways they bend the academic rules. As long as they want to keep their program, they’re probably going to continue.

It’s not bad enough that Dee Morley was kicked out of school for being enterprising by boosting his GPA by going to a correspondent’s school, but now lil’ miss morals has to chime in. Dude, the only reason there was even a University for you to trash-talk to make your 15 minutes of fame is because of the athletic department. Do you think anyone would have given a flying shit stick if the school sucked in all things athletic? I mean, it’s not like the school had any academic credibility anyway.

Of course, the real story is that now the FootVols are short one very talented member on defense. Who can possibly fill the shoes vacated by Morley’s poor grades? Who knows? But does Morley really give a crap? I mean, he’ll have to sit out a year, but if he stays in shape, he could probably make it into the NFL next year.

If Steve McNair can be successful in the NFL, so can Dee Morley. Don’t see the connection? Well, if you’ve ever seen the “Hel-lo… mah naime is… Steve Mak-Neer” commercial (I think it was a PSA about reading), it’d show you that perhaps the academics at UT are about on the same level as those on Alcorn State, and well, Steve’s still kickin’ (well, not this year anymore, but you know).

Dee… angry… microphone… soft…

You know, if the world worked like Bensel-Meyers wanted it to with everyone all learnin’ and crap, there’d be no such thing as professional athletes, musicians, or corporate executives. The world would cease to rotate on it’s axis. Get off your high horse ho, and learn that that’s the way it is. The only reason Tennessee let this kid go? Because they got caught.

The Thornton Center near the Tom Black Track on the campus of the University of Tennessee isn’t the first, nor the only facility on a college campus that takes tests for tutors student athletes. You know why? Because some of these kids are actually going to make it to the pros, and well, even if they don’t an extra course in Western Civ isn’t going to help them cash their paycheck, whether it be from the NFL or Wal-Mart. Eat it, Meyers!

Two games, two, last second losses.  Who would’ve thought it would be Chris Lofton who would miss a free throw to possibly lose it for the team?

Funny how far we’ve come.  From the era of “Buzz-(kill) Ball” where a loss to a top 5 team by 2 points at the end of the game would be the watermark for the season to now, where a loss to any team, regardless of rank, is unacceptable.  Bruce Pearl really must be the man.  The man who must order his team to shoot 500 free throws during practice that is.

Ohio State basically beat Tennessee using the BasketVols game against them, shooting three point shots at opportune times and causing quick shots on the other end.  Overall, it seemed like State was able to do just enough of what was needed, using their size advantage to um, their advantage.

If nothing else, Tennessee shouldn’t be hit too hard in the rankings considering OSU’s ranking and the small margin of victory not to mention that it wasn’t a conference game.  Yeah, that’s what we’ll tell ourselves.

The ability to finish is going to be important coming down the stretch.  Don had this problem for awhile, being able to strike up a conversation with a pretty lady, only to be unable to close the deal (for those of you asking about jon’s abilities, well, we don’t talk about that here).  Well, cut to a few years later, and Don is now happily married (to a woman… no, really).  If Don can learn to finish, so can the BasketVols.  Get it done boys!